


Light me up

by iubi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A lot of kissing, Alternate Universe - Canon, And i mean... A Lot, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Haechan makes it worse, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mark doesn't know a thing, Mark is #Shooters4Haechan, self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25670248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iubi/pseuds/iubi
Summary: Haechan takes it upon himself to teach Mark how to kiss, but Mark ends up learning more than he signed up for.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 12
Kudos: 375





	Light me up

"You're very cute!" Haechan says with an overly sweet voice, following Mark to his room even though he's already told him like at least three times to leave him alone. 

"No, I’m not." 

"Aw, hyung are you embarrassed? You have nothing to be embarrassed about!" Haechan's grin only grows wider as Mark turns to glare at him, "I mean we didn't expect you to be a playboy, but really, not even once?" 

"Go away." 

And Mark almost manages to close the door on that annoyingly smug face of his, but Haechan manages to slither in before he has the chance to, throwing himself at Mark even as Mark immediately pries his hands off of him. 

"And what? When did _you_ have time for things like that in the first place?" 

" _Things like that_ , grow up, hyung, it's just kissing!" 

"Yeah? And when did you have the time to go around kissing people? I feel like you could have mentioned that in the years we've known each other." 

Haechan's mouth curves into a perfect ‘o’ as he snaps his fingers in understanding, "Oh, I get it, this is what they call _jealousy_!" 

"God, go away, you're insufferable." 

So of course Haechan doesn't, when has he _ever_ listened to Mark? Instead he wraps his arms around his neck, his eyes twinkling with what Mark might call pure evil. 

"No, no, I'll kiss you, too! I am fantastic at kissing!"

"You will _not_." Mark says pointedly, pushing a hand against Haechan's annoying face and muffling the loud kissy noises he's making, clearly enjoying himself terribly. Haechan simply licks his palm and lands one wet kiss to Mark's cheek when he pulls his hand back in clear disgust. 

"I definitely will." 

Mark sighs, growing more aware by the second that this battle, like literally any other with Haechan, is a losing one, and he lets himself be kissed two more times with close to no protest, much to Haechan's glee. 

"Good boy." Haechan says cheerily, still pressed against Mark and showing absolutely no intention of moving. Mark glances at him, a thought nagging at him, but he's not entirely sure if Haechan would answer seriously or if he'd just make more fun of Mark. 

Still, Haechan always makes fun of him, so it's worth a shot. 

"Hey, Haechanie," 

"Mm?" 

"When you say you have experience with kissing, do you mean this kind of kiss or, like," Mark licks his lips, pointedly not looking at Haechan even as he can feel his stare, "Real kissing?" 

The answer doesn't come immediately and the sudden silence is making Mark uncomfortable, Haechan's breath warm and way too close. But before he wills himself to chance a glance at Haechan, he starts laughing, loud and bright in his ear. 

"Obviously real kissing." 

"Obviously." Mark echoes, just a bit uncomfortable for some reason. 

"But you don't have to worry, hyung, even if I didn't, I would still be a better kisser than you." Haechan says, punctuating his statement with one more kiss against his cheek.

"You don't know that." 

"Of course I do! What, is that some kind of challenge Mark Lee?" 

Mark snorts, finally meeting Haechan's eyes, "As if I'd challenge you when I know how annoying you get about losing." 

"I'm not annoying when I lose! Definitely not more than you!" Haechan pulls back his arm from around Mark's neck just to push a finger against his chest, eyes narrowing, "But if that's a challenge, I'll take it!" 

"Fine!"

"Fine! Go sit there!" 

And in the spur of the moment Mark does. He sits down on the bed, back against the headboard, thinking only of winning against Haechan. But then Haechan sits down too, right on Mark's lap, legs on either side of his thighs, clearly burning with the same desire to win. 

Mark blinks a few times, taking in Haechan's determined face, brows pulled in concentration and mouth just the slightest bit pursed, and looks away before he can even consciously make that decision when he meets Haechan's eyes. He's suddenly unsure about what he's even supposed to be doing. 

"Focus!" Haechan says with a click of his tongue, slapping Mark's chest when he doesn't immediately turn to look at him, "This is a competition and I don't want you complaining when you lose!" 

"Speak for yourself!" 

Haechan snorts, shuffling just a bit closer and reminding Mark exactly what the fuck they're supposed to be doing. 

"How-" Mark begins to say, but his voice comes out raspy and lower than he intended, so he clears his throat, hoping that Haechan will take pity on him this one time and not mention it, "How do you want to do this?" 

"Hyung, are you _nervous_?" 

Of course Haechan doesn't give him one single break, what was Mark even expecting. He's grinning at him with that smug face of his, all pretty and bright in Mark's lap, fully expecting to win _and_ make fun of Mark for it. 

And maybe if Mark thinks deeply enough about it, he might realise this is not a situation he should even be in in the first place. But Haechan has always been good at riling him up and he does _really_ want to win. If anything, Haechan's face when he loses will be worth it. 

"I just think the terms are a bit unfair." 

Haechan bites, of course, the competitive little imp, "How so?" 

"You say you have experience, but this is my first time, so I think it's a bit unfair to compare my first kiss with a kiss that's not your first." 

Mark should probably think a bit more about the implications of his first kiss being with Haechan of all people, but at this point he's in too deep to turn back. 

"Fair." Haechan agrees, like they're talking about one of their games, "I'll give you three tries to practise and after that it's for real." 

Mark blinks, "Practise." 

"Yeah, practise. You get to kiss me three times before I start grading you." 

"Wait, wait, why am I suddenly getting graded?" 

"How else would we decide who wins? I'll give you a grade and you give me one and we'll compare." 

Mark hesitantly rests his hands on Haechan's thighs, waiting for the catch because it all seems pretty fair to him. 

"Okay then.” He says after he considers it for a moment longer. 

"Okay." 

And then Haechan simply closes his eyes, face relaxed and waiting, his hands almost touching Mark's on top of his thighs. Mark swallows. 

"Can I- do I just kiss you?" 

Haechan cracks open an eye, a frown pulling at his face, "I mean, you don't _have_ to." he says, and his voice comes out just a bit breathy, like he wasn't expecting words to come out, "We can stop if you really don't want to." 

"Did you suddenly get scared of losing, Donghyuck-ah?" Mark asks instead of addressing whatever Haechan's trying to say. Maybe this isn't the best idea either of them have ever had, but stopping now somehow seems like an even worse idea. 

"We'll see about that." Haechan snorts, winking at Mark before he lets his eyes fall closed again. "If you suck, I'll deduct points." 

"You said the first three are for practise, you asshole." 

"Right, just get on with it." 

But Mark's not entirely sure _how_ exactly he should be getting on with it. Haechan waits patiently as Mark tries to lean in a few times, pulling back each time before his lips ever have the chance to make contact with his, then tries to reach for Haechan's face to maybe tilt his head like in the movies, but ultimately he doesn't even manage to touch him.

"God if this was real life your partner would have left three times already." Haechan complains, all his patience having run out. Mark thinks he should be thankful for how long it lasted in the first place. 

"This _is_ real life." Mark pouts, not meeting Haechan's eyes when he opens them, "And it's weird, I don't know what you want me to do." 

"Miracle kid my ass, you're hopeless!" 

"Hey, this has nothing to do with talent!" 

"Yeah it does and you don't have any." Haechan shakes his head as if he's dealing with a particularly difficult child and Mark wants to kill him just a bit. "Fine, I'll help you, but just because we don't have the whole day and at this rate you won't be kissing me even if we wait a week." 

"I feel like sometimes you forget that I'm older than you." 

"And dumber. Now shut up and watch." 

And Mark feels like that's too vague of a request, but then Haechan's shuffling closer, dislodging Mark's hands from his thighs as he sits up on his knees. Like this, he has to look down to meet Mark's eyes, his gaze heavier, hooded in a way it usually only is for photoshoots, when he's playing it up for the camera. 

This shouldn't be weird, but it is and Mark's heart stutters, just a bit, trips over its own beat and it can't seem to catch its rhythm as Haechan presses a warm hand to the side of his neck. His touch is gentle and slow and careful, his fingers running up the sensitive skin until he can softly cup his jaw, tilting his head back just a bit more. 

Mark's chest feels awfully weird, his breath coming out a bit too quick, his face too hot, definitely too hot under Haechan's fingers. This is all starting to seem like a very, _very_ bad idea way too quickly. 

"One of the most important things is the anticipation," Haechan says, lowering his voice, the sweet tone of it sending a shiver down Mark's spine, "You can't rush it." 

Mark can't really breathe properly. "Did you read that online?" He quips, trying to grasp some semblance of normality, but Haechan only smiles, a pretty, pretty smile that makes him look even more beautiful, dreamy almost, his golden skin almost unreal under the fading rays of sun. 

"Yeah, is it working?" 

"No." Mark says, but his voice breaks on the word, a gasp escaping his mouth as Haechan leans a bit closer, as convincing as he can possibly get really. 

"I'll have to try harder then." 

Really, he should stop trying so hard, but Haechan's close enough now that Mark's going a little cross-eyed trying to hold his gaze and he doesn't seem like he'll stop anytime soon. 

"Close your eyes." Haechan says softly and Mark's all too eager to obey, anything to make this pressing feeling in his chest go away, to quiet his heart before it explodes or something equally as bad. 

But it's somehow worse with his eyes closed. Because now he can't feel anything but Haechan's warm hand on his skin, his breath against his face, so close Mark swears they're almost touching. He smells like Mark's toothpaste for some reason and Haechan's favourite shower gel, the disgustingly sweet one that manages to smell absolutely delicious right now. 

Mark could possibly be dying right now. Maybe he's having a stroke or a heart attack or _something_ , because Haechan's always been particularly touchy, but it's never made Mark feel quite like _this_. 

It almost takes him by surprise when Haechan presses his mouth against his in one very soft, very warm kiss, tingles running along his lips like he's somehow electrified him. And even though it seems like the logical conclusion, Mark's body doesn't just stop working and Haechan doesn't stop either. 

The tension starts to ease a bit as Mark gets used to the sweet feeling, his mouth parting on a tiny sigh when Haechan tilts his head. He slides his lips against Mark's and they're smooth and warm and _good_ and Mark doesn't want this to stop, reaching for Haechan's collar. 

But he doesn't quite touch him, hesitation taking over before he gets to, because Mark's not even sure if this is allowed. Sure he's touched and been touched by Haechan more times than one could even count, but it feels different now, somehow, like a line Mark's not quite sure he should be crossing. Maybe it should be a wall, really, something you'd think twice about before you even tried to climb it, but this is more of a line that's basically _screaming_ at Mark to step over it. 

"Stop thinking so much or you'll lose." Haechan whispers against his lips, his sweet voice breathy and soft, almost careful, "You can touch me if you want." 

_You can touch me if you want_. Mark would rather not think about what he wants. Mark would rather not think at all. 

Haechan seems eager to help with that, pressing his other hand to Mark's cheek as he pulls his lower lip between his own, very easily putting a stop to all of Mark's thoughts. His tongue is warm as it presses against the seam of Mark's lips and it feels weird, a bit foreign, but not entirely bad. 

It all is moving very slow, like they're both getting used to it and Haechan seems almost as hesitant as Mark feels when he parts his lips for him, but not any less sweet or careful. And it feels familiar in a way, it feels so distinctly Haechan that Mark's not sure what he's worrying so much about. 

They've always been like this, with Haechan loudly and brightly dashing on ahead and Mark following like the earth orbits the sun, with no choice in the matter and yet no other way he'd rather go. So it feels only natural that Haechan asks and Mark gives and gives and gives. 

"Focus!" Haechan says when he pulls back and it's probably meant to be threatening, but his voice comes out airy and soft, chest rising and falling quickly, like he's been running, like Mark has left him breathless. 

"I am," Mark says, his voice not any better, "I'm very focused." 

Haechan huffs, looking away, but his ears are red, his cheeks flushed all pretty, and he's so close Mark could close the remaining distance in a heartbeat. 

"Have you always been this cute?" Mark asks suddenly, because he has no filter and his brain feels a little melted and Haechan is so beautiful. 

Haechan still doesn't turn to look at him, "Of course I have, what are you talking about? I'm the cutest man alive." 

And it seems like a fair appreciation, "Yeah, you are." 

Haechan finally turns at that, pressing a hand to Mark's forehead and scrunching his face in appraisal, "Do you have a fever or something? Was my kiss _that_ hot?" 

"Wouldn't call it exactly hot-" 

"Oh, spare me! That was the hottest kiss of your life with the hottest person alive!" 

Mark laughs at that, because it would be impossible not to, because he could never not be happy with Haechan stirring up a fuss in his lap, "I wouldn't know, since it was my first and only kiss." 

"Well, the great Lee Donghyuck will now show you an even better kiss, so shut up and let me work my magic!" 

"I thought this was supposed to be practice for me." 

Haechan makes a tiny 'o' with his mouth, snapping his fingers, "Right, right, then show me what you've learned from the great master." 

"I don't see any great master around here." 

"Less talking, more acting!" Haechan says simply, sitting back down on Mark's thighs, hands warm as he presses them to his chest. "And now don't make me wait too long." 

"But you can wait a _little_." Mark says, smiling when Haechan dramatically rolls his eyes.

"Will you kiss me already or do I have to do everything myself?" 

"I will, I will, just close your eyes already!" 

Haechan does, always so easily obedient even as he acts like he's on top of the world, like nobody can ever tell him what to do. But he likes listening, likes being praised for it, likes being _good_ almost as much as he likes being a brat. 

Haechan's breath hitches when Mark touches his face, palm cupping his jaw as his fingers tug on his earlobe, just because he can, just because Haechan's ears are red and warm under his touch. He has such soft skin, so pretty all dusted pink and Mark has been aware of his little moles before, but he hasn't really _seen_ them, hasn't taken the time to just _stare_. 

"Today please." 

"I thought you said the anticipation was one of the most important things." 

It makes Haechan huff, but his fingers tighten in Mark's shirt and he keeps his eyes closed, still patiently waiting, "Yeah, but if you wait too much I might just fall asleep." 

"I trust that you won't." 

Mark knows that he won't and Haechan does too, knows that Mark might have taken him seriously a few years ago, but that now they're both aware that Haechan is a lot of bark and a very gentle bite. 

"At least tuck me in when I do." 

It's easier now, somehow, to lean in the rest of the way and kiss Haechan. Mark wouldn't go so far as to say that he knows what he's doing, but it's Haechan and he's warm and solid in his lap and he's not going anywhere even if Mark messes up. So there's something like excitement bubbling up, a nervous sort of excitement, like he gets before going on stage, his body thrumming with it. 

There's also something else, a sweeter, warmer something, deeply rooted in the space between Mark's lungs, behind his sternum, something that swells a bit more with every beat of his heart, with every flutter of Haechan's lashes, every tiny little breath, with the way Haechan's fingers tighten in Mark's shirt like he doesn't want him to stop. 

So Mark doesn't, because he quite enjoys this feeling, the way it fills him until he can't breathe anymore, until it feels like it's too big of a feeling to ever contain. 

Haechan only makes it worse, or so much _better_ , like he knows exactly what Mark wants, what he _needs_ , the way he always has, in a way Mark could never match. He parts his lips for him and makes those tiny beautiful noises, throatier when Mark experiments a bit, when he tilts his head just right or sucks on Haechan's tongue and lets his teeth catch on his lower lip. 

It feels like a shame to pull back, so Mark keeps going back for more, until they're both panting, more breathing into each other's mouths than actual kissing. But it feels _right_ , like something Mark could do for a very long time. 

"Was that-" Mark licks his lips and he can only taste Haechan, "Does that count as one kiss, or?" 

Haechan doesn't immediately answer, gaze dark and heavy when he meets Mark's eyes, enough that it makes Mark want to look away. The sun has gone down outside, the day hanging on the cusp of evening, but the dim light only serves to make Haechan look outright ethereal. 

He licks his lips and the only thing Mark can think about is if Haechan can taste Mark on his mouth when he does, "Do you wanna get graded on that one?" 

"Just out of curiosity, what score would I get?" 

"Out of ten?"

"Yeah." 

Haechan's tongue peeks out to wet his lips, glancing at Mark's mouth for one second before he catches his eyes, gaze just as heavy, unknowable and dark. It only makes Mark want to _know_ , makes him wonder exactly what Haechan's thinking about. If he kissed him now, would Haechan taste like himself or like Mark?

"I'm undecided, so you'll have to help me make up my mind." Haechan says simply, pursing his lips for the full effect and frowning when Mark starts laughing, "I'll start docking points if you don't hurry up, you have three seconds. Three, two-" 

So Mark kisses his mouth shut. It's an awfully convenient way to silence him, so convenient Mark's almost afraid he might slip up and do it all the time. It's gentle too and so warm, the way Haechan parts his lips for him so easily now, like this is a choreography they've already learned. 

They're both more relaxed now, the weird tension and nervousness having dissolved somewhere between them, melted into something sweeter as they both start to experiment a bit. 

Haechan's a quicker learner, though, or a more experienced one, easily learning what sends flutters down Mark's spine and what makes his breath stick in his throat, his chest thrumming. But he's also more responsive, making those pretty, _pretty_ sounds when Mark wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him closer or sucks his lower lip between his teeth, his voice all sticky and sweet like honey. 

It makes the pleasant warmth gradually simmer into something hotter, humming impatiently under his skin when Haechan wraps his arms around Mark's neck, pushes one hand into his hair and just _pulls_. It doesn't even hurt, but it makes Mark gasp, a loud, unrefined noise as he tilts his head back.

Haechan doesn't give him one second to gather himself, to catch his breath, pressing a kiss to the underside of Mark's jaw and smiling against the sensitive skin when it draws an embarrassing moan out of him. 

"You- This- It's against the rules, what you're doing!" Mark says, or tries to anyway, his voice breaking on half the words. He barely has enough air to function, so talking seems to be out of the question, but he's almost fully sure that he'll die if Haechan keeps going like this. 

"Yeah? So what are those rules?" 

Haechan's arms are still wrapped around Mark's neck and he may not be pulling anymore, but his hand is still tangled in his hair, fingers lightly scratching at his scalp. So expecting Mark to be able to think and properly form coherent sentences seems a bit unfair, all things considered. 

"I don't know, okay? It's just that what you're doing is against them." 

"Hmm, then let's agree to drop all the rules and make it so anything goes. It's a _competition_ after all." Haechan says smugly, emphasizing the word competition by saying it in sharp English. And while his voice doesn't break, he sounds just as out of breath as Mark feels. 

Mark should probably say no, the whole point of a competition being the rules, but he's always had a hard time actually refusing Haechan, even more so when he's sitting in his lap, mouth all red from Mark kissing him and cheeks all flushed. 

And Haechan has always been beautiful, not exactly in the way a sunrise or a sunset is beautiful, with moving lights that change the more you look at them, but rather in the way that the noon sun is beautiful, a full sun, bright and warm and inescapable. So really, it's impossible not to see, not to be aware of Haechan’s beauty, but looking at the sun from the safe cover of shade and holding it in your arms is an entirely different experience. 

"Right, okay, then we'll stick with anything goes."

Mark just hopes he won't get burnt. 

"Perfect." 

Haechan doesn't waste any more time, pulling Mark in easily, kissing him all slow and gentle, building up the rhythm sweetly. But Mark can't seem to wait anymore, his skin thrumming, _burning_ with a need to touch Haechan, to taste him. It makes Haechan giggle for some reason, laughing against his mouth like Mark's done something particularly funny. 

Mark can't even get mad at him, something awfully warm unfurling in his chest and he pulls Haechan even closer, one hand slipping under the hem of his shirt. His skin is soft and warm and just a little bit sweaty and Mark greedily swallows all the sweet sounds Haechan makes as he runs his fingers up his spine. 

But something must surely be wrong with Mark, because he just can't seem to get enough, this sudden _hunger_ stirring up inside of him as Haechan rolls his hips against his, moaning against his throat, almost as eager as Mark. They both might just be a bit out of their minds. 

"Is this okay?" Mark says, or whispers, his voice all weird, almost _needy_ and pulls at the hem of Haechan's shirt, just a bit, pulling back to meet his dark eyes.

"Is it?" Haechan counters, still so frustratingly himself even in this situation. But his eyes are completely blown, dark dark _dark_ , and maybe Mark's just projecting, but he seems just as hungry. 

"I'll just- I'll stop if it's not okay." 

Haechan licks his lips, glancing at Mark's mouth before he leans in to kiss him. It's a slower kiss, not quite as desperate as the rest, but just as good, sweetly familiar already and if Haechan told him to stop now, Mark would be fully content to. He already feels like he should be waking up at any moment now.

"It's okay. This is okay." Haechan says, a soft smile pulling at his mouth when he leans back. It's an unusual smile, different from the mischievous one that always spells trouble, so Mark can't help but mirror it, his heart doing some weird jumps in his chest, ribcage too small to even begin to contain it. 

"Yeah?" He asks again, just to make sure, fingers running along Haechan's lower back. 

"Yeah." 

Mark waits for one more moment, just in case Haechan wants to change his mind, before he carefully pulls off his shirt. His already messy hair stands up even more with the movement and he looks so unfairly cute like this that Mark can't help but lean in and kiss his nose, much to Haechan's complaints. 

"Ah, hyung, take yours off too! You're not allowed to see my _great_ body without doing something in return!" 

"Yeah? And is this enough?" Mark asks, obediently taking it off. 

"No~pe." Haechan singsongs, clearly satisfied with himself as he immediately presses his hands to Mark's tummy and leans in to kiss his sternum, lips warm and almost ticklish, "But I'll let you off with one kiss." 

Mark laughs, very easily letting himself be kissed. It's a price he's more than willing to pay, even more so when Haechan looks so satisfied with it, pulling back to grin in delight, like it's some kind of reward for him. It only makes Mark want to kiss him more. He hasn't felt this before, not really, not like this, but now it feels like he's been missing out and he really wants to make up for the lost time. 

"Ah, but hyung, you sure are a quick learner." Haechan says against his mouth, pressing two more quick kisses there before moving to his cheek, the corner of his jaw and then the sensitive skin behind his ear, humming when Mark shivers. 

"You think so?" 

"Ah ah, you're supposed to say that it's because I'm a good teacher! Ouf, do I really have to tell you everything?" 

"But you're not-" Mark makes a very embarrassing sound when Haechan promptly bites his ear, "Fine, fine, you're the greatest teacher!" 

"Well done, I knew you had it in you!" 

"You- You're really something else." 

"Thank you~." 

"Don't think I meant it as a compliment." 

"Mhm, but I'll still take it as one, thank you Mark Lee!" Haechan says cheerily, blowing a kiss at him even though they're literally close enough for a proper one. 

It makes Mark laugh, as always, because he's always had trouble being anything but happy when it comes to Haechan, even when he wants to be mad at him. He's still pretty certain that this is some kind of very vivid dream that he'll soon have to wake up from, but for now, he pulls Haechan in for a proper kiss, content to enjoy this for as long as he can. 

There's just _something_ that keeps him coming back for more, either the way Haechan moans all pretty when Mark wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him closer, or the way he bites Mark's lip just to soothe it with his tongue, kisses getting hotter and deeper like neither of them can really help it, hungry for something more. 

It's not something Mark can even begin to try to stop, like some kind of dam has broken, inside him or maybe even inside Haechan too. So he just lets it pour out. He kisses Haechan until they're both out of breath, until the world around them blurs out, like the edges of a dream, soft and unfocused. Mark quite likes this feeling, likes how Haechan whines when Mark pulls back, likes how he takes revenge by kissing down Mark's throat, whispering something against the sensitive skin for every press of his lips. 

It all is very dizzying, like Mark can't quite land on his feet, but he quite likes this lightheadedness, how it feels like he's had just enough to drink, enough that he doesn't have to think too deeply anymore, a mix of exhilaration and just simple happiness mixing to take over all of his senses. 

So really, when a knock comes at the door, his brain just very simply stops working. 

"Yah Mark, Donghyuckie, what are you doing? Aren't you gonna come down to eat?" 

It short circuits. Mark can almost hear his synapses misfiring before they just burn down to a crisp. So with his brain completely out of commission it takes him a moment to register the thud of Haechan falling to the floor and even more to realise that he _pushed_ him. 

This is all going very wrong very quickly and Mark should be apologising and helping Haechan up while he can still fix this, but for some goddamn reason he's grabbing his shirt and running the opposite direction. He ends up running straight into a very surprised Doyoung and almost toppling him over. 

"Hey, hey, the food isn't gonna run away!" Doyoung says with a laugh, but it petters off when he catches sight of Mark's expression. He glances behind Mark, to the now closed door, before looking back at him, a frown curving on his face, "Did something happen? Are you okay?" 

Mark needs to turn around and apologise to Haechan. He needs to tell him that he's sorry and deal with the consequences of his actions. 

"I'm fine- Just- I'm just very hungry." He finishes lamely, "Sorry for worrying you, hyung." 

This apology comes out so very easily that it's almost frustrating, but this is not the person Mark should be saying it to, this is not where he should even be in the first place. And yet, he can't will himself to turn around, his stomach roiling like he might throw up, like he really did get drunk and has been left to deal with the horrible hangover. 

"Is Donghyuck inside?" Doyoung asks very carefully, as if Mark might spook if he speaks any louder. To be fair, he just might. 

"Yeah. Yes, he's there." 

"Can I talk to him?" 

It's an odd question to ask, but it's probably only because Mark is acting so odd in the first place, flighty and weird, very obviously _guilty_ of something. He wishes his heart had actually stopped earlier and then he wouldn't have to deal with himself right now. 

"Yes, please, go ahead, don't mind me." The English slips out before Mark can even register it and he flushes when Doyoung's frown deepens, clearly worried. 

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm- I'm just gonna go now. Very hungry." 

And Mark just bows and starts running as fast as he can. It's not the best idea. Obviously. Mark seems to have lost the ability to come up with those. The floors also happen to be freshly cleaned and he's wearing socks, but unfortunately, while he does slip a few times, none of the falls are deadly. 

Ultimately he ends up also tripping on the last stair and stumbling straight into Taeyong's chest. 

"Ah, it's Mark! We were just looking for you! Doyoungie went looking for you and Haechanie, but did he not find you?" Taeyong asks cheerily, glancing behind Mark as if the two of them might just magically appear. 

"I'm- He did. He's- Haechan- They're both in my room." Mark says in a hurry, panic making his words all weird. 

Taeyong frowns, probably sensing there's something he's not saying. Doyoung did too. It's probably his face that's giving him away. Mark has never claimed to have any talent for acting, but he didn't really think he'd be this bad at hiding stuff. 

"Did something happen?" 

"No." Mark says way too quickly, very obviously lying. He really wishes the earth could just open up and swallow him whole, until there's absolutely no trace of him left. 

"O...kay.” Taeyong says, glancing one more time behind Haechan before he meets his eyes and smiles, “Then how about we go eat something while we wait for the two of them to come down, hm?" 

Mark has the opposite of an appetite right now. "Sure, yeah, that's- It sounds great." 

If god hasn't completely forsaken him, he might just choke on the food and die once and for all. 

"Ah, Mark Lee, exactly the man we were waiting for!" Johnny says loudly once they make their way to the table, a huge smile curling on his face. 

"Aren't Haechanie and Doyoung-hyung with you?" Jungwoo asks, just as cheerily, his mouth half full. 

Mark just tries his best to school his expression into something casual, but he must not succeed, as Taeyong very easily slips a hand to the back of his neck and squeezes, smoothly taking over the conversation. Mark's both thankful to Taeyong and completely disappointed in himself. 

Haechan would probably still be willing to listen if Mark went back now, but he's an even worse coward than he gave himself credit, hiding down here and stuffing his face with food so as to not have to answer any questions or participate in any kind of conversation. 

"Woah, but Mark, you must have been really hungry, huh?" Yuta asks all of a sudden, laughing when Mark chokes trying to swallow all the food in his mouth at once. 

It takes several tries and a few coughs and even more pained tears before he can even speak, but by the time he opens his mouth he has no idea what Yuta even said. 

"Huh?" 

Everyone bursts into laughter at that so Mark also finds himself laughing, by force of the habit really. But now that he's not actively focusing on ignoring his building nausea, it washes over him in waves and all the food he's been stress eating threatens to come out all at once. 

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Is the only thing he manages to say before everyone's expression changes and Taeyong's pulling him away from the table and towards the bathroom while hurriedly telling him to hold it. 

Somehow he actually manages to hold it until they get there and for a very short second he thinks that maybe he won't throw up at all. But it ends up being just a second. 

Taeyong stays with him the whole time, rubbing his back and telling him that he's gonna be okay all the while Mark hurls the entirety of his insides and maybe more, so much that he doesn't even know where it's all coming from. It probably doesn't take more than a few minutes, but it feels like he spends actual hours pathetically curled over the toilet just heaving. 

"I'm gonna go get you some water, do you think you'll be okay until I come back?" 

Mark shakes his head, trying to get up, but quickly realising that his legs have gone completely soft under him. "I don't think I can keep it down." 

"Do you- Should I call an ambulance? The manager hyungs just went out, but I'll call them and-" 

"Hyung, calm down, you don't have to call anyone, just. Just give me a moment." 

Taeyong quite literally gives him _exactly_ one moment before he decides that this is not it and they _have_ to do something about it right this second before Mark dies or something. It would almost be funny if Mark wasn't feeling quite this shit, but thankfully Jaehyun interrupts Taeyong before he can make things any worse. 

"Hyung, first you need to calm down," Jaehyun says calmly, unexpectedly composed as he reaches for Mark, "And help me get Mark to his feet. We'll get him to my room, since it's the closest, and lay him down in a bed, okay?" 

Taeyong immediately nods, seemingly satisfied with finally doing something to fix the situation. Jaehyun checks with Mark just before he reaches for him, makes sure that he's following and is okay with being moved and when he gets the okay, the two of them get him to Jaehyun's bed fairly easily. 

"Do you think you can drink some water?" Jaehyun asks gently.

"I- I don't think so." 

"That's okay. How about just rinsing your mouth with it, to get rid of any weird taste?" 

Mark nods to that, rinsing his mouth three times with water and once with the mouthwash Jaehyun offers him when the foul taste still lingers. Both the water and the mouthwash plus the bowl he spit them in were already there together with two cups of ice, so Mark briefly wonders if Jaehyun prepared them before he came to get him from the bathroom. 

"Is that better?" 

"Much." 

"That's great.” Jaehyun says with a relieved smile, “Now I know you said you couldn't drink water, but how about some ice? I have both cubes and chips so whichever is easier for you." 

Mark ends up sucking on ice cubes as Taeyong tucks him in, his nausea finally receding a bit as he settles down. 

"Woah, but Jaehyun-ah, you really handled yourself super well, I was super surprised." Taeyong says. 

"Ah, no, I didn't come up with all of this. Haechanie came down to see what the fuss was all about and then prepared everything, said it's because he's taken care of his younger brothers before. I just said we should take you to my room, since it's the closest.” Jaehyung shrugs, “So really, it's Haechan who's amazing." 

"He really is." Mark says easily. He can't help but laugh, the situation so awfully pathetic and embarrassing. Of course Haechan ends up being a proper responsible adult while Mark blunders through everything he does. He even has the nerve to call himself a hyung when he's so pitiful. 

"I'm gonna try to get in touch with the manager hyungs." Taeyong announces suddenly, as if he can't really stand the sudden silence, fidgety and still clearly worried, "You do seem better, but I still think you should get properly checked. Especially since we're supposed to go out tomorrow." 

"I'm really fine, hyung. I'll be even better after a good night's sleep. Really. And we'll both be able to make it to the recording tomorrow, don't worry." 

Taeyong frowns, not entirely convinced, "Fine, but if you're not better tomorrow, you'll get properly checked out?" 

"Yeah, promise." 

"Right, then we should let him rest now, hyung, c'mon." Jaehyun joins in smoothly, easily leading Taeyong towards the door. 

"Ah, but hyung, this is your room, I'll just go back to mine!" Mark says suddenly, realising a bit late that he's basically taken over Jaehyun's bed. 

"Stop being stupid and just rest!" 

And that's that on that, seemingly, the door closing behind them with a loud resounding click. It leaves Mark all alone in the room with the ice and his thoughts. It's really not the best combination, but it does feel like he deserves some self hate time after how much of an asshole he's been. 

Unfortunately, the him time only lasts a few minutes before their manager is coming in, having clearly found out everything. Mark almost feels a bit disappointed that the rest couldn't just keep quiet about this, but really, he brought it on himself, so he might as well deal with the consequences. Or at least _some_ consequences.

It's not even that bad. After an entire speech on why he shouldn't hide these kinds of things, especially when they concern his health, he's let off with just a promise that they're gonna call in a doctor tomorrow and a resigned good night. 

It is a bit frustrating though and very embarrassing. Because Mark _knows_ these things. He wouldn't hide it if he was actually having health issues, he's not _that_ stupid. But it's also not like he can just tell everyone that _hey, I'm not actually sick, I just pushed off my best friend after enthusiastically kissing him and got so embarrassed that I stuffed my face until i literally couldn't take it anymore and threw up_. Compared to that, lying about his health sounds outright cool. 

He can't really lie to himself though, even though he wishes he could; he wishes he could tell himself it didn't happen and that he would simply forget about it then. But now that he's actually letting himself think about it, the realisation that he has actually just kissed his best friend sinks in. It's only made worse by the fact that he probably won't be able to get the feeling of Haechan's mouth out of his head any time soon. 

His lips feel tender when he presses his fingers to them, overly sensitive and warm to the touch. They feel _kissed_. And Mark knows it should feel terrible– he kissed a boy, a groupmate, his best friend, he kissed _Haechan_ – but it doesn't. It really doesn't. He wants to feel bitter about it, wants it to feel like a mistake, but it's such an overwhelmingly _sweet_ feeling. It almost scares him, because if he had to do it all over again, he's afraid he would still kiss Haechan. 

He knows he shouldn't, but especially now, now that he knows how Haechan tastes, knows the sounds he makes when Mark's fingers trail down his spine, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He would kiss Haechan and he wouldn't even feel guilty about it, wouldn't even regret it. 

Because he doesn't. He should, really, he should be lamenting his mistake, not thinking about it with this pressing longing, swelling behind his ribs and filling him until he can't breathe anymore. It's a feeling that unfurls inside of him without asking for permission, like a flower blooming under the gentle rays of sunshine. Mark has been kissed by the sun and he's afraid he'll never get over the warmth it left behind. 

A knock startles him out of his thoughts. It's a soft sound, like a whisper, like he wasn't even meant to hear it, but in the breathless silence it echoes. Mark considers just ignoring it for a second, but he knows he shouldn't, not after he's made so much trouble for everyone. 

The sight that greets him makes his chest hurt, but even so he can't help but smile, relieved for some reason. 

"I thought you'd be asleep." Haechan says softly, closing the door behind him before he makes his way to the bed, easily sitting on the edge of it. His thigh presses against Mark's blanket covered one. "So I just came to bring you a bottle of water."

"Thank you." 

"Ah, it's no problem." 

Mark swallows, unsure about what he's even supposed to say, or if he's even supposed to say anything. The room is barely lit, just the bedside lamp open, but Haechan still seems to be glowing, the gentle light dancing on his face, illuminating his pretty moles. It makes Mark wonder, because he's not wearing his glasses and the world is fuzzy and time seems to have bent a little, if the sun liked Haechan so much when he was brought into this world that it decided to give him a piece of itself. 

It's a weird thought to have, but Haechan has always been so sure of himself, unyielding and confident and _bright_ , so it would only make sense. It would only make sense that Mark can't help but follow Haechan in the same way sunflowers turn their heads after the light. Because if even the sun loves Haechan so dearly, who is Mark not to. 

"Ah ah, I know I'm a sight to behold, but so much staring is gonna make me shrink!" Haechan says even as he strikes a pose, winking saucily at Mark for the full effect. 

Mark laughs, sitting up a bit so he can be level with Haechan, "Better be careful then, any shorter and you'd be in danger." 

"It's fine, it's fine, I'll make up for it with my incredible charm and sharp wit." 

"You're really something else, you know that?" Mark says, trying to keep as much of the fondness as he can from his voice. 

"I'll take that as a compliment, so thank you." 

"It is, actually. A compliment. I do think you're amazing." 

Haechan laughs, "There you go again! What did you do with the Mark-hyung I know? He would never praise me so easily!" 

Mark hits Haechan's knee, words bubbling with laughter, "What are you talking about, I praise you a lot!" 

"Yeah? Like how?" Haechan challenges, tilting his head back and raising his brows at Mark. It only makes him want to kiss his nose. 

"I always say that you're talented!” Mark says, counting them off his fingers, “And funny and smart and that you always find something fun to say. You're good at taking care of people even though you love acting like a brat, and you behave like you're the best thing since sliced bread but you still manage to put yourself second. And more than anything you're kind and charming and-" 

Haechan's gaze gradually darkens with Mark's words, his expression going from smug to something heavier, deeper and it makes the breath catch in Mark's throat, his words trailing off. 

"And?" He presses, voice low enough to send shivers down Mark's spine. 

"And beautiful. You're very, very beautiful." 

The silence stretches very thin between them, a breath away from breaking. Haechan glances at Mark's mouth and for a very long second Mark swears he's gonna lean in and kiss him. He briefly considers closing his eyes, but then Haechan laughs, a soft, gentle sound that sounds almost like a sigh. 

"Can I ask you a question, hyung?" 

"Yeah." Mark says, not even trying to follow Haechan's line of thought, already aware that he wouldn't understand it. 

"Why did you push me away? Earlier, when Doyoung-hyung came, why did you run?" 

The question takes him by surprise, of course it does, because Haechan's never been good at doing what Mark expects, always managing to catch him off balance. 

"I’m- I don't know. I think I panicked." Mark swallows, unsure if he should continue, "You- Did you- Did Doyoung-hyung say anything about- Did he say anything?" 

Haechan laughs, even though neither of them has said anything particularly funny, and he pats Mark's knee. "Don't worry, hyung, he doesn't know we kissed. I just told him it was one of our usual fights and that we'll have made up by tomorrow." 

Mark frowns and his chest feels weirdly tight, an unexplainable unease washing over him. Haechan feels off all of a sudden and Mark has absolutely no idea how to fix it, doesn't even know what caused it. "Will we? Make up by tomorrow?" 

"We've already made up, try to keep up!" Haechan says with a smile, standing up and ruffling Mark's hair, "Now sleep so you'll be better by tomorrow!" 

Mark stupidly opens and closes his mouth a few times, unsure of what to say, but certain that he shouldn't let Haechan leave just yet, that he should ask him what's wrong, that he should try to fix it, whatever _it_ even is. 

"Haechanie, wait!" 

Haechan stops halfway out the door, but he doesn't turn to look at Mark, humming in acknowledgement and patiently waiting. 

"Just- I just wanted to say goodnight." Mark finishes lamely, always the biggest coward there is. 

"Goodnight to you too, hyung." 

The door closes with a click and Mark sighs, pulling the blanket over his face and just soundlessly screaming into the material. There should be a record or something, of the world's biggest cowards, and Mark would surely be first. 

He doesn't get to lament for too long, though, before the door is suddenly pushed open and Haechan's peeking his head in, "Also, your shirt's inside out, so you should fix it! Now sleep tight, Mark Lee!" 

And then he's gone, just like that, leaving Mark to stare at the door like it might hold the secrets to the world, so bewildered he starts laughing. His shirt is indeed both inside out _and_ the other way around, but more than that, it's not even his shirt, but Haechan's, the one he was wearing before Mark took it off for him. 

Forget coward, Mark might just be the stupidest man alive. 

He ends up laughing all alone, like a crazy person. But really, he can't help but wonder if things would have been different if that wasn't his first kiss, or if it wasn't Haechan that came to bother him about it. He can't imagine it, can't imagine kissing someone other than Haechan, or even talking about these things with anyone else, even if the hyungs would be willing to listen. 

Maybe he's been ruined. His first kiss ended up being with Haechan– just like his second and his third and all of them really– and now he can't think about it without inherently thinking about Haechan. But maybe it's not even the kissing, maybe it's just simply Haechan, because even if it wasn't his first, Mark doubts it would have been any less sweet, any less unforgettable. 

Because ultimately, that's how Haechan always has been, this bright bundle of light that's always full of energy, always moving, giving you no choice but to follow along. This sunny disposition of his is exactly why he's always surrounded by people, why there's always laughter around him. Because really, it's hard not be happy after basking in such an encompassing warmth. 

Mark has really been ruined. The kissing may have helped him realise it, but really, he's been ruined for a long time now, maybe from the time Haechan first smiled at him, introducing himself with that sweet, cheery voice of his. It seems he's been bathing in the sun for too long so now he doesn't know how to handle the darkness anymore. 

It takes Mark quite a bit to fall asleep, his mind running too fast for him to calm down, all his thoughts spinning around Haechan. It makes him wonder if Haechan has managed to fall asleep, if maybe he's also thinking of them, of their kiss, their _kisses_. Mark's tummy feels all fluttery at the thought, because Haechan's lips had also looked tender, kissed raw, his face flushed all pretty. 

It's not the worst way to fall asleep. 

In the morning, Mark has to video call two doctors and a counselor before he can be given the okay to leave for recording, but even after he gets certified as fine, the members still worry about him. Jungwoo keeps putting food on his plate during breakfast while Doyoung tells him that he shouldn't force himself. 

"You know I can totally come with you today and be your very own caretaker." Johnny offers, interrupting Doyoung's fussing and reaching for Mark's plate as well. Doyoung pouts, stopping Johnny's chopsticks with his own before he manages to steal anything and they both start laughing when Jungwoo glances between the two of them and then quietly starts putting food on Johnny's plate too. 

"Ah, right, Taemin-hyung was super worried about you when I talked to him earlier, said you didn't have to force yourself today." Taeyong says, "So if you want Johnny for support, I'm sure nobody would mind if you bring him along." 

"I told you, hyung, I really am fine! I'm really thankful that you're all so worried, but I'm okay now!" 

"Well, you weren't okay last night, so we are totally allowed to still be worried." 

"Agreed." Doyoung joins in, "So now stop talking so much and focus on eating." 

"I still think I would make for a badass caretaker." 

"Yah, Mark Lee, you should choose me instead of Johnny!" Yuta joins in, having clearly just woken up, his hair standing up at odd angles. He's not even wearing a shirt. 

Taeyong bursts into laughter, leaning back on the counter as Yuta makes his way to them. "Do you even know what we're talking about?" 

"Something about a badass caretaker for Mark. Look at these lines in my hair, I've clearly won." 

"How does that have anything to do with being a caretaker?" Doyoung asks. 

"Badass first, caretaker second, hyung!" Jungwoo says, high fiving Yuta. 

Mark can't help but laugh, both amused by the entire conversation and just feeling _warm_. They're all clearly worried about Mark and trying to make him feel as good as possible and it really makes him realise how blessed he is to be surrounded by such good people. It makes his chest feel funny, like he's so full he might just burst. 

Ultimately, neither Johnny nor Yuta end up coming with them, but they do tell Mark that he should call them if he starts missing them, as if he'll be gone for a month and not just a few hours. Taeyong eventually whisks him away when Johnny keeps tearfully acting out an emotional goodbye. 

"Can I ask you something?" Taeyong says when they're both safely tucked away in the car. It always ends up being a question that spells trouble, but it's not really like Mark can say no. 

"Sure." 

"Have you talked to Haechan?" 

It's not exactly what Mark was expecting, "Yeah, I- We talked last night." 

"Really? Look, I don't want to pry and you don't have to talk to me just because I'm your hyung and you feel like you have to, but you were both acting weird last night. I talked to Doyoungie and he said he'd speak to Haechan so long as I handled you." 

"Handle- We're really okay, hyung, you don't have to _handle_ me or like, Haechan. We can deal with our problems ourselves, we're not children anymore."

"It's- Look," Taeyong says in that leader tone of his, the one Mark can't not listen to, "I don't want you to take it the wrong way, 'cause I know you can handle yourselves, but there are some problems that _need_ outside intervention. I don't know why the two of you fought and you both seem intent on keeping it a secret, but I just want you to know that if you want it, I'm here for you. Me or Doyoungie or whoever you feel most comfortable with." 

Mark flushes and looks away, awfully embarrassed. He always keeps acting like a kid while claiming with his whole chest that he's an adult, so it feels humiliating somehow, that Taeyong knows exactly what he's supposed to say while Mark just fumbles stupidly over his words and thoughts. "Using the leader tone is unfair, hyung." 

Taeyong bursts into laughter at that, reaching over to pat Mark's shoulder, very clearly relieved, "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to. I'll take care next time to talk in the tone of a friend." 

"Thank you." Mark says, "Not- Not about the tone thing, just. For being willing to listen to me. Even when I'm being stubborn." 

"No problem. You and Haechan both grew up so fast that sometimes I wish you would remember I'm still here. Like you don't _have_ to solve everything by yourselves even if you can." 

"Yeah, that's- Actually that does make sense." 

Taeyong laughs, "It does, doesn't it?" 

"But I'm sure I'm less stubborn than Haechanie."

"Oh you don't know the half of it! He's kind of amazing, really. Doyoungie couldn't stop laughing when I told him about it!" 

"Why?" Mark asks, even though he can kind of imagine why. He has fought with Haechan more than anyone else after all, so he's been on the receiving end of that sharp tongue for more times than he can count. 

"Well you know how he is! I just went to talk to him, you know, asking him if the two of you are alright and if I can help with anything, the usual spiel. He was very responsive, said that I'm incredible for noticing and such a great hyung, but then we got to the actual talking about it part. And I swear I've never met a person who can talk so much about a subject without ever _really_ talking about it! Like he's so good at talking and finding arguments that you eventually find yourself agreeing just because of the way he presents matters! It was a complete loss on my side." 

"He really does have a way with words! He's so smart, it's a bit insane."

"Sometimes I almost forget how young he is because of it, but then he'll act all cute and ask me to treat him. It's really impossible not to like him." 

"For real, he really is like the sun." Mark says, terribly fond. "Is that why you sent Doyoung-hyung? Because you couldn't deal with him yourself?" 

"Since Doyoung is the second most argumentative person I know, I thought it would be a fair matchup." 

"Did you send him to fight Haechan?" 

"Wouldn't put it past them." 

They both burst into laughter at the image that conjures. Mark feels lighter, somehow, now that he's talked to Taeyong. It's not really like it solved anything, but it's reassuring to know he doesn't have to do everything on his own, even if this is definitely something Mark has to deal with by himself. 

The problem is that he has no idea how to actually handle the situation and worse than that is the fact that he doesn't have a super clear grasp on where the problem lies. Haechan is his best friend and in general a very perceptive and smart person, so he's the one Mark usually discusses these kinds of things with. But, obviously, that's not an option right now. 

Maybe that's part of the problem, really. The two of them kissed and now Mark's not sure he can stop himself from thinking about kissing Haechan. It almost seems simple when put like that: a question of how Mark can even be a proper friend for Haechan when he has such thoughts. But even put in such simple terms, Mark's not sure he can find a way to fix it. 

At the root of things, they just shouldn't have kissed in the first place, yet Mark can't think of a way he could have refused Haechan. It's almost funny to think of just how quickly he accepted it. His mother should be happy he chose the life of an idol, because Mark might actually be a very stupid person, now that he thinks about it. 

Maybe it's just Haechan that makes him stupid and romance movies in which the characters do very dumb things are actually realistic. Or maybe he's just simply a dumbass. 

Since he's absolutely not paying any attention to his surroundings while he makes his way to the recording studio, deep in thought as his body just moves on muscle memory, his heart almost stops when someone barrels into him all of a sudden. It's not an accidental bump, no, Mark almost flies with the force of it, but before he can get yeeted to his untimely death, he's being picked up by the very same person and spun around enough times that he loses count. 

"Yah, Lucas, you're gonna make him sick, put him down!" 

Lucas stops, seems to consider it for a second, then finally decides to put Mark down. He doesn't let him go just yet, patting his shoulders enthusiastically and looking a second away from pulling him back into a hug. 

"It's good to see you too, Lucas." Mark says with a wide smile, the world spinning just a little. Lucas is one hurricane of a man, but his intentions are always crystal clear, so it's almost impossible to be anything but fond of him. "And you, hyung, haven't seen you in a while." 

Ten smiles, "Yeah, it's really good to see you." He says, pulling Mark into a tight hug before making his way to Taeyong. 

"Not just good!" Lucas adds excitedly, "It's super great to see you! I missed you!" 

"Missed you too! I was super happy when I heard about the comeback!" 

"Ah, but more importantly, I heard you got sick, are you better now?" Lucas asks and Mark barely stops himself from laughing at the _more importantly_. 

"Oh, yeah, way better." 

"That's great! I was really worried when I heard since I've never seen you sick before!" 

"That's why it shocked us, too!" Taeyong says, smiling as he throws an arm around Mark's neck, "We've all known him since he was super young and yet I've never seen him throw up like that!" 

Mark laughs, because really, he's actually always been pretty bad at dealing with his nerves. He used to throw up a lot when he was little because of it, so his parents really worried about him, even more so when he joined an entertainment company in Korea. But since he always felt better after, it ended up being fairly easy to hide. After all, everyone had their own nerves to deal with, so Mark sneaking away to the bathroom on most days didn't raise any questions. 

"Well, what's important is that he's better now." Ten says, ruffling Mark's hair with a smile. 

"And we're gonna keep it that way!" Lucas says with certainty, glancing up as if he's gonna drag God down himself and end him if Mark gets sick again. It's even funnier because if someone could, it would be Lucas, since Mark's pretty sure not even God himself could say no to him. 

"Ah, right, did the hyungs get here already? I wouldn't want to keep them waiting." Taeyong says. 

"Baekhyun-hyung got here before us and he's already recording, but Taemin-hyung and Jongin-hyung went to buy drinks for everyone." 

"They should have called us and we would have stopped to buy them on the way here!" 

"You know how Taemin-hyung is, he always loves treating his dongsaengs." 

"Yeah, but still." 

"Well, you could always treat us to food after the recording, hyung!" Ten says, a mischievous smile spreading on his face. 

He actually does manage to convince Taeyong to treat them, but in the end it's still Taemin that takes them out for food after and pays for everything. He fusses over Mark the whole time and keeps asking him if he wants anything else because hyung will buy it for him. It makes everyone laugh since Ten and Baekhyun keep suggesting outrageous things and Taemin keeps saying that he actually will buy them if Mark himself asks for them. 

Of course Mark doesn't, but it's still pretty funny. When they leave, Taemin even reassures him that he wasn't kidding and if Mark does want something he really will buy it for him since he's his favourite dongsaeng. It gives him a very warm feeling. He may forget sometimes, but he really is surrounded by such good people. 

Enough that it almost makes him feel a little bad, since he hasn't really done anything for them, not for his hyungs, nor his dongsaengs. Especially not for the person who somehow manages to both be his dongsaeng, his hyung and his friend. 

Mark really is hopeless. He keeps thinking of Haechan and yet when they get back home, he barely even manages to say hello to him. He's watching a movie with Doyoung and Jungwoo and Haechan asks if they wanna join, attention mostly focused on the screen. 

Taeyong says yes, not even bothering with changing his clothes before he makes his way to them, ignoring Doyoung's protests and settling down mostly on his lap. 

"Aren't you coming, hyung?" Haechan asks, finally looking away from the screen. He's wearing his glasses and the hoodie he tricked Mark into buying him and in the dim artificial light of the tv he looks outright beautiful. 

Mark swallows when their eyes meet, his heart stupidly skipping a beat, and he realises he absolutely cannot do this. 

"I'm pretty tired. So, uhm, I think I'm just gonna pass for today." Mark says, voice thankfully coming out steady. 

Haechan holds his gaze for a moment longer, enough that Mark just stops breathing altogether, before he finally looks away. He waves him away with a flick of his wrist, attention easily switching back to the movie, "Suit yourself then." 

Mark really shouldn't be suiting himself. He's been telling himself all day that he's gonna properly talk to Haechan and hopefully fix things some way or the other, but now that he's given the choice of normally spending time with Haechan like they always have, what does he do? 

He's already regretting his decision by the time he reaches his room, but it's not like he can turn around and say he's not tired anymore. And to be fair, he genuinely is tired. It will probably be fine even if he just talks to Haechan tomorrow. 

But as it turns out, Mark ends up being way better at running than at confronting his problems. He doesn't do it on purpose, not entirely at least, but as he actually has to leave for practice and recording, it makes for a very good excuse. It helps that the choreo is insane and the additional time he spends in the practice room is only half because he's a spineless coward. 

It doesn't take long for the rest of the members to notice, but it's Ten that ends up asking him about it. He spends almost as much time as Mark does in the practice room, if not more, even if he doesn't practice just their choreo, so he easily manages to catch Mark when it's just the two of them. 

"Is this your way of running away from home?" Ten asks as soon as Mark takes a break, handing him a bottle of water with a smile. 

"My- No, I'm just- It's a hard choreo." Mark settles on, sitting next to Ten and looking at him through the mirror in front of them. He hasn't cleaned his glasses in a while so the bright lights look all smudged out. 

"It is. But that's not why you keep practicing it, is it?" 

"That _is_ why!" 

"You're a cute liar, Mark, but not a good one." Ten laughs, leaning back on the mirrored wall behind him. He's taken off his shirt a while ago and hasn't bothered with putting it back on. "Do you wanna talk about it or is this my cue to change the subject?" 

"Am I really that obvious?" 

"Mm, I wouldn't say that. You're just very honest, but it's not a bad thing." 

"Maybe it should be. I wanna learn how to lie." 

"Why? Is there someone you wanna deceive?" 

_Myself_. Mark really, really wishes he could tell himself that he can just go back to being normal friends with Haechan and forget the way his eyes looked before he kissed him, the way his mouth did after. He wants to tell himself that kissing Haechan doesn't change anything and actually believe it. 

"I just think it would be a useful skill." 

Ten laughs, " _I_ think you have enough skills already." 

"That's just because you like me, hyung, you're not being objective." 

"I do like you, but that doesn't change anything." 

"But what if it did?" Mark finds himself asking before he can stop himself. He glances at Ten, but he's not looking at him, frowning at a point on the ceiling as he purses his lips. 

"What are you trying to say?" 

"I mean, like, what would you do if you liked someone you shouldn't?" 

Ten turns to look at him then, "Are we still talking about me or is this about your problem?" 

"I don't have a problem! I just-" Mark bites his lip, unsure of how to continue, "Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that there's a problem-" 

"I don't like where this is going." 

"No, listen, what would you do if, hypothetically, you and your best friend kissed and, like, you wanted to do it again?" 

Ten blinks a few times, staring at Mark as if he's expecting him to say more before his eyes widen, "Ah, that's the question?" 

"Yeah." 

"I would just kiss them again then." 

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"But they're your best friend and you shouldn't do it again even if you want to!" Mark tries, but he loses more and more of his momentum as Ten just stares at him, clearly unimpressed. 

"Why?" Ten asks simply. 

It's truly a fair, logical question and yet Mark wasn't expecting it one bit. He realises he hasn't really thought of why it's a bad thing, of why he thinks he shouldn't have done it or why he can't do it again– he has told himself it's because he would like it, because he would want to do it again, because he wouldn't be able to forget it– but those are not real reasons. 

"No, but for real, why wouldn't you just do it? In your hypothetical situation or whatever, does your best friend not want to kiss you again? Is that the problem?" 

"Yes! Actually no!" Mark says then stops to really consider it for a second, "Truthfully, I don't know what they want." 

"Then you have your answer." 

"I. What." 

Ten pats Mark's shoulder, seemingly very satisfied with himself even if Mark has no idea what he's talking about, "You should just talk to them, ask them what they want. If they also want to kiss you, I don't see why there would be any problem." 

Mark just stares. It's a very straightforward and yet a very proper and simple solution that Mark somehow didn't even think about. He did want to talk to Haechan, but more on the lines of how can they make it so that it never happened rather than how can they do it again. 

"That's actually genius!" Mark says excitedly, before, albeit a bit belatedly, he also adds, "For the hypothetical situation, I mean." 

"Hypothetical, sure, mhm." Ten laughs, gracefully getting up in one swift move, "Anyway, I'm gonna go back to practicing. Are you going to join me?"

"Actually, I think I'm gonna go home for today." Mark says, taking the hand Ten offers him with a smile, "But thank you for today, hyung, it really means a lot."

"I didn't do much, it's you that needs to do the heavy lifting now." 

Mark can hopefully do that. "You did more than enough, hyung!" He says, grabbing his bag and making his way to the door. "Really, thank you again and good luck with practice!" 

Ten waves at him, a very satisfied cat-like smile curving on his face as he says, "Say hi to Haechanie for me!" 

"I will!" 

Mark only realises the implications of Ten's words when he's already in the car and it suddenly clicks for him. But somehow, someone knowing doesn't feel quite as terrifying as he expected it to. Maybe it's because Mark hasn't let himself talk to anyone or maybe it's simply because it's Ten, but it feels oddly reassuring having him just _know_. 

What doesn't feel quite as reassuring is Mark having to talk to Haechan about this. In theory, going to him and outright asking him what he feels about them having kissed and if he would like to do it again is a sound plan. The problem is that Mark has no idea what to do after. What is he even gonna do if Haechan tells him no? And even worse, what if he tells him _yes_? 

By the time he gets home, all of Mark's momentum is gone and suddenly, avoiding Haechan seems like the best idea all over again again. Maybe he can just run away from it until they both forget it. 

But as it turns out, it's not just up to him, not really at least. 

It's after almost two more weeks of Mark actively avoiding Haechan that he finds a tray in front of his door. There's not much to it, just a covered bowl, a cup and a folded note with a heart drawn in red on it, but it makes Mark uneasy for some reason. It's probably because there's green tea in the cup, famously the one tea he hates. 

_Get better soon, Mark Lee_ , the note says in deceptively pretty handwriting. It's written in pink and surrounded by red hearts of different sizes with one obnoxious kiss mark directly on top of Mark's name. There's only one person that Mark knows who would do this, but as he uncovers the bowl too, it only solidifies his suspicions. 

It's a bowl of rice covered very generously with what looks to be an entire tub of ketchup and then topped with something black that looks suspiciously like pepper arranged in the shape of a heart. 

Mark should ignore it. He knows he should, knows that any kind of reaction is exactly what Haechan's looking for, but all things considered, he just can't stop himself. 

"Yah, Lee Donghyuck, come out!" 

Haechan doesn't answer, obviously. He always manages to be so unapologetically and infuriatingly _Haechan_. It's at once both his best feature and his worst. He even has the nerve to act surprised when Mark comes into his room, a tiny smile betraying the fact that he did indeed hear him before. 

"Ah, Mark-hyung, what brings you here?" Haechan asks smoothly, tilting his head down so he can look at Mark over the rim of his glasses, a smug smile curving on that pretty face of his. 

"You damn well know what." 

"Oh my, oh my, we're awfully angry. Did something happen, hyung? Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Drop it, Donghyuck, we both know the only person who would pull that kind of shit is you!" Mark says bitingly, but Haechan only blinks, his mouth curving into an 'o', as if he's only now realising what he's talking about. 

"By _that_ do you mean the delicious ketchup rice I made for you? You wound me, hyung, I put my heart and soul into that!" 

"Oh, stop that! You fucking know that I hate both ketchup and green tea! You're just using your heart and soul to piss me off!" 

"Oh my, you hate them? I haven't seen you in such a long while I seem to have forgotten." 

"You haven't- I've literally been _here_!" 

"Yeah, avoiding me!" 

Mark opens his mouth to argue that, but no words come out. It's quite hard to deny it when he has actually been avoiding him. "I- Whose fault do you think that is?" 

"Yours!" Haechan says, getting up and accusingly poking Mark's chest to make sure the point definitely gets across. 

"No! You may have boundless experience, but that was my _first_ kiss! And my second! And all the fucking kisses of my life! I couldn't stop thinking about them! About you!" 

"Boundless- You've known me since I was twelve! When do you think I had the time to get this _boundless experience_?" 

"But you said-" 

"I fucking lied!" 

"You-" Mark begins heatedly, but then he trails off as Haechan's words register, his mind going blank. "What do you mean?" 

"I only ever kissed one person before you and it was so disastrous it can barely be called a kiss!" Haechan snaps. 

"But you seemed to know what you were doing!" Mark says, because he can't just back down now, "It was good! So good, as if you'd done it before!" 

"I guess I'm just that talented! I literally just looked it up online, I even told you that I did!" 

"How would- I just thought you were kidding!" 

"Well I wasn't!" 

They're close enough now that their chests are almost touching, both breathing hard, as if they've been physically fighting, not just trying to outspeak each other. Mark is still trying to make sense of Haechan's words, but the more he thinks about them the less he understands. 

"You weren't." Mark says more to himself than anything else. It was as much of a new experience for Haechan as it was for Mark and yet Mark just pushed him away like an asshole and then simply ran away without even trying to properly talk about it like an even bigger asshole. 

"Took you long enough." Haechan laughs, patting Mark's chest but otherwise not making any move to step back. 

"Well, you could have been honest from the start and-" 

"Oh, so ultimately it's _my_ fault?" 

"No! No, I'm the one that shouldn't have avoided you! I'm sorry." Mark hurries to say, "And about the kissing too." 

"What about it?" 

"It was very good. _You_ were very good and I shouldn't have pushed you away. I wanna apologise for that too." 

"Mm, I don't accept it." Haechan says simply, a grin spreading on his face when Mark just stares. 

"What." 

"You gotta try harder before I even think about accepting it." 

Mark frowns, "You want me to try harder at apologising?" 

"Call it appeasing my anger." 

"And yet you don't seem very angry." 

"Oh, I'm boiling, but it's on the inside so you can't see it." Haechan says with a sunny smile that is completely at odds with his words. He has trouble spelled all across his face, but Mark supposes he could indulge him just this once. 

"Fine, what do you want me to do?" Mark asks with a sigh. 

"You said I was very good at kissing, right? So tell me why more in depth." 

"You just want me to praise you?" 

Haechan clicks his tongue, "I want feedback, not praise! Please try to be as objective as possible, Mark Lee." 

"We kissed weeks ago! There's no way I can objectively remember how well you did." 

"So what I'm getting is that you want me to kiss you again." 

"Literally how did you get that from what I said?" 

"So you _don't_ want to kiss me again." 

"No! Yes! I mean, I do want to kiss you again, but I thought you were still mad at me." 

Haechan considers him for a second, fiddles with the collar of Mark's shirt, "I am still mad." he says, pulling on the material as if he's gonna strangle Mark with it, before he loosens his hold, "But if you kiss me without pushing me away, I'll forgive you." 

Mark's chest tightens, guilt leaving a nasty aftertaste on the back of his tongue. Of course Haechan's still mad about it. Normally, he should have been the one avoiding Mark, not the other way around, and to make matters worse, if Haechan didn't do anything about it, Mark would still be avoiding him even now. 

"I'm not gonna push you away. I promise." Mark says. "But does that mean that I don't have to praise you anymore?" 

"It's called feedback. And don't get ahead of yourself now, I might just not forgive you in the end." 

"I'll try my best then." Mark says softly, his voice just a bit breathless. 

He's been thinking about kissing Haechan so much that now it almost doesn't feel real that he actually gets to do it. But Haechan is staring at him, waiting patiently for once, his mouth parted just a bit and Mark barely stops himself from looking away. 

He's so beautiful, viscerally so, in a way Mark can't properly explain, can't even properly understand. He's known Haechan for almost half of his life now and yet he still manages to surprise him, still manages to leave him breathless and Mark can't seem to have enough of it. 

He has never really let himself stare, not like this, not really, and it feels like a real waste now, like he's had a treasure within reach for so long and yet he never let himself want it. 

"Yah, Mark Lee, are you just gonna stare all day?" Haechan snaps, meeting his gaze head on, but his ears have gone all red. Mark can't help but touch them, gently tracing the curve of his ear and smiling when it makes Haechan shiver. 

"You are very nice to look at." Mark says, low enough that it's almost a whisper. He fits his palm to the curve of Haechan's jaw and tilts his head back, enjoying the way Haechan's lashes flutter, the way his eyes darken. 

"I can send you some pics." 

"Mm, but I think I like this better." 

Haechan's breath audibly hitches when Mark drags his thumb across his lower lip and he brings a hand to Mark's wrist, his touch light and tentative. He doesn't try to pull Mark's hand away, but it's enough to make him stop, unsure if it's an encouragement or a warning. 

"Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?" Mark asks gently. 

"No." Haechan says. His eyes are completely dark as he meets Mark's, sharp and steady, looking like he might _eat_ Mark. It makes his skin buzz, something like yearning burning inside of him, threatening to melt him down to his very bones. 

"No, it's not okay or no, you don't want me to stop?" 

"Will you kiss me already?" 

"If you ask nicely." Mark finds himself saying. It's not often that Haechan gets flustered, so even though Mark would very much like to kiss him right this second, it only feels fair that he should drag it out a bit, make him wait for it. Just a bit, just enough to make the kiss sweeter. 

"The only thing I'm gonna ask for _nicely_ , hyung, is for you to leave." Haechan says in an overly sweet tone, "So it's up to you to decide which one you wanna do." 

"You're so not cute." 

"Oh, I am absolutely adorable, I don't know what you're talking about." 

Mark laughs and pulls Haechan in. It's nothing more than a peck at first, a gentle press of lips as they get used to the feeling all over again, the warmth of it. But they've both been waiting for a bit too long and impatience catches up to them fast. Mark doesn't wait anymore before he bites Haechan's lower lip, soothes it with the flat of his tongue as he parts his mouth for him, the feeling just as satisfying as the first time, if not even more. 

Haechan tastes like the candy on his bedside table, sugary and addictive, and Mark can't help but want more, can't help but suck on Haechan's tongue just to feel him groan, just to feel his hand fist in the collar of his shirt, trying to pull Mark even closer. If Mark's not careful, this might just become habit forming. 

There's just something about kissing Haechan that makes him want to keep doing it, that makes him go back for more, simmering in the pit of his stomach and fluttering behind his ribs. So Mark kisses him until they can't breathe anymore and then some, until it gets all messy and desperate and it's less of a kiss and more just the idea of one, Haechan's glasses all fogged up from their breathing. 

It's sweet, overly so, maybe even more so than the first one, with less nerves and more action, the familiarity of it serving as a perk rather than a disadvantage. 

Mark taps the arm of Haechan's glasses when he pulls back, his voice all breathless, "Can I take them off?" 

"I don't know, can you?" 

Mark huffs, gently pulling them off as Haechan giggles, so terribly fond of him it almost hurts, like there might not be enough space inside of him to contain all of it. 

"Why are you not wearing yours anyway?" Haechan asks, throwing himself back on the bed as Mark places his glasses in their case and then on the table, away from any danger of getting broken. 

"They were disgusting, so I was gonna clean them, but then I found your tray of surprises and completely forgot." 

Haechan laughs at that, all bright and cheery, "You gotta admit that it was a pretty genius idea. Even the ketchup was spicy, but I realised later that you weren't going to taste it anyway." 

"You know, that's usually how you get a person to hate you." Mark says, turning around to face Haechan. 

He stops at the sight that greets him, Haechan laid out on the bed, hair all messy and cheeks all red, looking at him with that hooded gaze of his, a smile pulling at his kiss red mouth like he knows what it does to Mark, like he's doing it on purpose. To be fair, he most likely is. 

"Mm, maybe. But you still like me." 

Mark almost starts laughing. If _'like'_ was enough to describe how he feels about Haechan, the world would be an entirely different place. 

"Don't push your luck." 

"You mean to tell me you don't? Oh what an unexpected betrayal!" Haechan says, faking a sob as Mark crawls over him.

"You sure love being dramatic, don't you?" 

Haechan grins, covering Mark's mouth when he tries to kiss him, "Oh no, people that don't even like me aren't allowed to kiss me." 

"When did I ever say I didn't like you?" 

"Then tell me right now that you do." 

Mark pulls Haechan's hand from his mouth, gently kissing his palm before he lets it go. It makes Haechan smile, that sweet smile of his that seems to curl on his face before he can even help it, the one that makes Mark want to kiss him more than ever. 

"I like you," Mark says, tracing the line of Haechan's brow all the way down to his cheek and then following the path his moles show, "I like you very, very much." 

If he made a map of all of Haechan's moles– all the kisses the sun pressed to his skin because it was too thoroughly enamoured with him– would he find a treasure at the end of it? Or would it, much like Haechan himself, just make him spin around in circles until he undoubtedly came back to his very starting point? 

Mark doesn't think he would very much mind it if both the start and finish ended up being Haechan. 

"And I would very much like to kiss you." 

Haechan glances at Mark's mouth, his pulse a quick staccato under his fingers. "If you _really_ couldn't live without it, I guess I _could_ let you kiss me. As a treat." 

"How awfully generous." Mark laughs, replacing his fingers with his mouth and following the same path they took. 

"I like to keep my fans satisfied." Haechan says just before Mark reaches his mouth, his voice all breathless and sweet. It makes the both of them smile into the kiss, inexplicably filled with happiness and giddy with it. 

It's a slower kiss, more careful as Mark gently coaxes Haechan's mouth open, but not any less hot, the both of them more comfortable, more daring, no longer just testing limits, but actively trying to get a reaction out of each other. 

Mark learns that Haechan likes having his moles kissed, even more so when he praises him, when he tells him how pretty they look, and that he has awfully sensitive ears. His breath hitches when Mark traces the shell of his ear, a tiny whine escaping him when he pulls on the lobe, but his voice sounds outright sinful when he takes it into his mouth. 

It makes Mark burn, his skin thrumming with an overflowing need to _touch_ Haechan, to hear him, to make him feel good, to make him moan in that syrupy voice of his. He briefly wonders if Haechan would ever consider piercing his ears– if he'd let Mark do it for him, if he'd let him kiss them better. Mark has never felt so _hungry_ in his whole entire life. 

He's not even sure that Haechan is aware of the effect he has on Mark, the way he makes him feel, the thoughts that go through his mind when he sees Haechan's face all flushed and his mouth all red from Mark's own mouth. But he must be, he's Haechan after all, Full Sun Donghyuck who's got Mark wrapped around his little finger and enjoying every second of it. 

"Hyung-" Haechan whines when Mark lets his teeth drag against the sensitive skin behind his ear, pulling at his hair until he finally kisses him, licks into his mouth until their breaths are gone, the room all fuzzy around the edges. 

Mark's shirt is getting dragged off when they finally pull back, the air heavy with their panting, and maybe he's not the only one starving, maybe Haechan's just as hungry for this, just as desperate. He presses warm hands to Mark's sides, trails gentle fingers up his spine, his touch all fluttery like he can't decide where to place them, like he can't stop touching. Mark _needs_ him to touch more. 

Haechan's shirt goes next and Mark takes only a moment to marvel before Haechan's whining, pulling him down for a kiss, mouth already open, sweet and welcoming and so damn addictive. It's swollen red when Mark pulls back, kissed raw by Mark himself, Haechan's whole face flushed all the way down to his neck, blooming all pretty against his chest. 

"You're so beautiful." Mark says, as if that's even _barely_ enough to describe how Haechan looks, something wonderful and inexplicable unfurling in his chest with every breath he takes. 

"You're not so bad yourself." Haechan says, his voice lower, more breathless, sending shivers down Mark's spine. 

"High praise there." 

"I try my best." 

Mark laughs, kissing along the line of Haechan's jaw and all the way down his neck, his pulse thrumming under his lips with every press of his mouth against the fine skin there. The sounds Haechan makes only get louder as Mark starts making his way lower, his voice as sweet and sticky as honey. 

"Are you sensitive _everywhere_?" Mark asks when Haechan moans particularly loud as he presses a fluttery kiss against his chest, one breath away from his nipple. 

"You say that as if it's a bad thing." Haechan complains breathlessly, grip on Mark's hair almost edging on too tight. 

"It's a compliment. I think you're really amazing." Mark lets his lips drag against Haechan's nipple with every word, watching his eyes flutter closed, face scrunched up in pleasure. It makes a weird sort of euphoria wash over him, the confirmation that _he_ is the one making Haechan feel like this, Mark's the one taking his breath away and making him moan with every press of his mouth. 

It's dizzying, really, in an extremely addictive way, more so than anything else, enough that Mark doesn't think he can live without it now that he's tasted it for himself. 

"I think you're full of shit." Haechan says, words trailing off in a moan as Mark pulls one of his nipples in his mouth, pressing his teeth to the nub as he rolls the other one between his fingers. He wonders if Haechan would let him record the sounds he makes, the tiny gasps and sweet whines and round moans, more melodic than anything he's ever heard before. 

"I really think you're amazing. I never thought someone could sound this good moaning." 

"Not like you've heard a lot of people in your life." 

Mark knows it's meant as a biting sort of remark, but he's fairly certain that even if he heard every single person, no one would sound quite as perfect as Haechan does. 

"Yeah, you're the only one." Mark says, smiling when Haechan huffs and pulls him into a messy kiss, more desperate than anything else, _greedy_. It's wet and open mouthed, making Mark's head spin, so terribly gone, he might never manage to recover. 

Haechan fits his thigh between Mark's legs then, suddenly bringing to his immediate attention the fact that he's hard, very clearly and painfully so. Haechan is too and maybe it should have been obvious, but the abrupt realisation makes him freeze, brings to the forefront the fact that he actually has absolutely no idea what he's doing. 

Haechan seems to sense his sudden hesitation, biting at his lower lip to get him to focus, "Hey, Mark, hey, you don't have to do anything about that if you don't want to. We can just keep kissing and we'll deal with the rest when you feel ready." he says gently, "There's no pressure, okay?" 

And despite everything, Mark finds himself laughing against Haechan's mouth, the tension leaving him in one breath. "I know I'm repeating myself, but you really, truly are incredible." 

"Of course I am. I don't know why you sound so surprised each time though, I would have thought it was an obvious fact." Haechan says, smiling that satisfied smile of his when Mark gently presses a kiss to the tip of his nose, then each cheek, his forehead, his chin and finally, the sweetest one, he presses it to his mouth. 

"I don't-" Mark says, swallows, unsure of what he really wants, but certain that Haechan is gonna be there for them to figure it out together, "I don't want to just keep kissing." 

And it feels right. He loves kissing Haechan, but he doesn't want to stop here, not really, he wants to see what other sounds he can get Haechan to make, he wants to see how much better it can get, how much hotter he can burn before there's nothing left of him. 

"Are you sure? If you change your mind we can stop at any point, okay?" 

"Why are you always so good at acting the hyung?" 

Haechan laughs, cheery and light, as bright as the very sun, enough that Mark can barely look at him, "Because I _am_ a hyung, you know. Maybe not yours, but mother gave me three baby siblings to deal with." 

"Well, I have an older sister and she always acts like a brat. She's almost never the reliable noona." 

"What a coincidence, me neither." Haechan says, words all round with laughter, "So I'll only act like one when you really need a hyung." 

"Like now?" Mark tries. 

"Like now." Haechan agrees, pulling Mark in for a kiss, a gentle one, slow and careful and sweet, as if reminding himself what it feels like. It doesn't quite manage to quiet the flames licking at Mark's insides, but rather only helps stoke them, makes them burn even hotter. 

Mark trails his fingers down Haechan's chest, along his ribs and around his belly button, until he reaches the hem of his pants, traces it until he stops at the neat bow in the middle. He hesitates then, unsure if he should continue, unsure of _how_ even if he did continue. 

Haechan easily solves the problem for him, pulling his laces open and pushing his pants and underwear down to his thighs, meeting Mark's eyes for a second before he sits up a bit to kiss him, wrapping a hand around his neck and pushing it in his hair. 

"Is this still okay?" Haechan asks against his mouth, voice steady even despite the way his chest keeps fluttering, the way Mark can almost hear the quick pace of his heart, as quick as his, if not even more so. 

"Yeah, it's- I should probably be the one asking you that." 

"I'm okay too. Just- Just keep going." Haechan says, impatience slipping between his words. It's oddly reassuring. Mark may not know what he's doing, but Haechan isn't much better off, just as on edge as they both try to discover each other, learn what touches make the other click. 

He watches Haechan carefully as he presses his fingers to his hip bone, slowly dragging them along his skin until he gets to the base of his dick. Haechan's eyes flutter closed when he keeps going, tracing the length of it before he properly wraps his hand around it. It's not an entirely foreign feeling, doing this for someone else, his skin is warm and a bit damp and the head of it is wet with precum, sticky as Mark circles his thumb around it. 

"Is this okay?" 

"Yeah, please-" Haechan begs, voice breaking off into a moan as Mark starts moving his hand. He keeps asking for more, saying _please_ in that awfully sweet voice of his, high and needy even as Mark's just finding his footing with this. 

It's awfully satisfying seeing Haechan lost in pleasure, even more so knowing that Mark's making him sound like this, making him feel _good_. He doesn't yet know exactly what he should do, doesn't know what Haechan likes, but he _wants_ to, he wants to know everything that makes Haechan moan, wants to know every single thing he likes being done to him. 

It's an overwhelming thought, big and ambitious and taking over him entirely. He wants Haechan to feel good, he wants him to be happy and, because Mark's turning out to be one selfish, greedy man, he also wants to be the cause of it– he wants to be the reason the sun rises in the morning. 

"Hyung," Haechan whines, taps at Mark's wrist, "It's too dry! I might end up liking it when it hurts a bit, but I like this wetter for now." He says shamelessly, leaning up to press a kiss to Mark's mouth when he just blinks at him. 

"How can you just simply say these kinds of things?" Mark asks, half in disbelief and half in genuine awe. 

"I will _not_ be shamed when you're quite literally holding my dick!" 

"That's actually- That's a fair point." 

Haechan bursts into laughter, pulling Mark's hand away. And for a second, Mark's scared that this is it, he fucked it up and now they're gonna stop and he's gonna regret not being better at jerking someone off for the rest of his life. But then Haechan's bringing Mark's hand to his mouth, sliding two of his fingers against his tongue before he starts sucking on them. 

It takes Mark a few seconds to realise what's happening, his entire being simply focused on the entirely inappropriate, possibly illegal sight of Haechan looking at him with those dark eyes of his, his red, absolutely sinful mouth just wrapped around Mark's fingers and sucking on them like they're the sweetest candy he has ever tasted. For a few seconds, Mark just feels like he might pass out. 

The feeling doesn't go away, not really, but his body realises that it actually needs to breathe and circulate his blood, so he almost chokes on the breath he sucks in. 

When Haechan pulls Mark's fingers out, kissing his knuckles before moving on to the next two digits, he takes the time to patiently explain that he's not just simply trying to kill Mark, not yet at least. "I told you I like it wetter, so I just decided to give you a hand with it." 

Mark's still reeling. "Thank you." He says and he's not entirely sure what he's thanking Haechan for, but what's certain is that he is very thankful. If he even manages to get Haechan to come today, he can just die happy. 

"You're welcome." Haechan says smugly. For the final touch he drags the flat of his tongue against Mark's palm before carefully putting his hand back on his dick, a satisfied little gasp escaping his mouth at the feeling. 

It does feel better now, the slide easier, and Haechan's all the more responsive, content about having gotten his way. Mark just wants to make him feel good and he finds that being told what to do is awfully reassuring– it's harder to mess up when Haechan's there to let him know exactly what he wants. 

Mark's always been a quick learner though, so he does get better at it, finds out that Haechan likes it when he pays more attention to the head, when he alternates speeds and lingers on the vein on the underside of his dick, rubbing his thumb to the sensitive skin there until Haechan's moaning his name and _'more'_ and _'please'_. 

His words start to teeter on nonsense when Mark starts kissing his way down his chest, following the pretty moles on his skin and lingering on his nipples. He only seems to get more sensitive the more Mark touches him and he fists a hand in Mark's hair when he sucks particularly hard on one of his nipples, rubbing his thumb around the head of his cock so Haechan can only moan, loud and desperate and hot. 

It doesn't take much longer for Haechan to come and he wraps a hand around Mark's on his dick, squeezing until he gets the message and tightens his grip, quickening the pace until Haechan comes with a high whine. 

His come splatters all over his tummy and chest, Mark's hand all wet and sticky with it. He leans over to press a quick kiss to Haechan's pretty mouth before he pulls back so he can go and wash his hands. 

"Where are you going?" Haechan whines, grabbing at Mark's bare skin until he finally settles on pulling on his pants. He looks absolutely fucked out, his face and chest completely flushed and his lips are kissed red, hair messy and skin all sweaty. Yet he still looks like he's glowing, maybe even more so now, a piece of art that only gets more beautiful the more Mark looks at him. 

He almost can't believe that Haechan looks like this because of him, that _Mark _did this with his own two hands. It's as unbelievable as it is thrilling, every cell in Mark's body thrumming with adrenaline, happiness washing over him in unstoppable waves, like it's been injected directly into his very veins. It makes him feel outright giddy.__

__"Gonna wash my hands." Mark says, gently prying Haechan's hands off with his clean one and kissing his nose before he gets off the bed._ _

__"Hyung, come back here! I'll lick them clean for you!" Haechan says and the image his words conjure yet again reminds Mark of his very hard, very neglected dick. If he doesn't think of or look at Haechan anymore he can probably will it to go away. Possibly._ _

__"Don't be ridiculous!"_ _

__"I am not! I am being a good partner! Unlike you!"_ _

__"I'm the one that just made you come!"_ _

__"So come back here so I can return the favour!"_ _

__Haechan wants to return the favour. It takes Mark a very long moment to fully comprehend what that means and even longer to get his brain in working order after that._ _

__"You don't- I did that because I wanted to, you don't have to do anything in return."_ _

__Haechan clicks his tongue, shaking his head when Mark hesitates at the foot of the bed, unsure of whether he should sit or not. Haechan hasn't bothered fixing his appearance one bit and there's still come on his chest. It very briefly makes Mark wonder if he would let him lick it off, before he banishes that thought away forever._ _

__"Sit." Haechan says simply._ _

__Mark blinks, but obediently sits down, a bit confused, but mostly just curious and maybe even slightly excited. Haechan has always had a knack for making him feel a multitude of emotions and now that trait of his is even more pronounced, driving Mark absolutely crazy._ _

__He watches as Haechan uses Mark's shirt to wipe off the remaining come and then just completely takes off the rest of his clothes instead of putting them back on. Mark's not sure what he's thinking or what he's planning on doing and his confusion only grows as Haechan kneels all pretty in front of him, looking up at him with those dark, beautiful eyes of his and smiling like he's in on something Mark isn't. To be fair, he probably is._ _

__"What- What are you gonna do?" Mark asks, earning a snort from Haechan as he meets his eyes._ _

__"What do _you_ think I'm doing?" _ _

__The sight is as impossible as it is unreal– Haechan kneeling naked in front of him, hands on Mark's thighs and brows raised in what Mark guesses is a challenge. It gives him the unshakeable feeling that he's lost already._ _

__"Apologise?" Mark tries._ _

__Haechan stares at him for one very long second before he bursts into loud, colourful laughter, the sound filling the room._ _

__"You're right." He says once he's calmed down a bit, though there's still laughter clinging to his words, making them rounder, brighter. "I'm gonna apologise in advance for the pleasure I'm gonna make you feel-" Mark chokes at the words, but Haechan only keeps going, "-and if you end up passing out, I'll make sure not to tease you for it for more than a month."_ _

__"Pass out? What the hell are you gonna do, Lee Donghyuck?"_ _

__Haechan undoes the lace on Mark's pants in one swift move, "I'm going to suck your dick."_ _

__Mark just stares, "You- What?"_ _

__Haechan's expression seems to change then and he stops fiddling with the hem of Mark's pants, suddenly going very still. "You don't want me to." And it's not a question, something like panic wrapping around his words._ _

__"No, no, no, I do want you to! I'm sorry, I just couldn't believe it for a second there, but I do want you to-" Mark flails his hands a bit, looking for a more delicate way to put it._ _

__"Suck your dick?"_ _

__"Yeah, that. It just surprised me, sorry."_ _

__Mark only realises how tense Haechan had been when he relaxes, smiles up at him and pats his thighs. "I mean, it is a great honour to get a blowjob from the fantastic Lee Donghyuck himself!"_ _

__Mark laughs and leans down, tilting Haechan's head back and gently kissing him. He constantly seems to forget that they're in this together and that even if Haechan _seems_ like he knows what he's doing, he's trying things out for the first time just like Mark is. _ _

__"You're gonna make my neck cramp up!" Haechan complains against his mouth even as he sweetly parts his lips for Mark, chasing him when he tries to pull back. Mark slides his hand to the back of his neck, squeezing until Haechan groans, a satisfied smile pulling at his lips._ _

__"Sorry." Mark says with a grin, not feeling apologetic at all. He presses a kiss to the pretty mole next to his eye before he pulls back, sitting up and carding a hand through Haechan's hair._ _

__Mark is vaguely aware of what is supposed to happen, but that doesn't mean that he's prepared in any way for it. His hand tightens in Haechan's hair when he starts pressing feather light kisses to the sensitive skin around his belly button, making sure he applies just enough pressure that it feels more like a flutter than a kiss._ _

__Haechan's eyes are dark and piercingly sharp, watching him carefully as he tugs Mark's pants and underwear off, because Haechan has always done things for the purpose of getting a reaction, has always been particularly sharp when it comes to people and what makes them click. So he presents Mark a sight that would be impossible to prepare for– Haechan on his knees with one hand wrapped around Mark's dick and his cherry red lips, the very lips he's been kissing, pressing against the head of his cock._ _

__Mark feels a little faint and an awful lot hot, the overwhelming desire that had been quietly simmering inside of him just taking over him in waves, so fast it leaves him dizzy with it, his mind a little fuzzy as it narrows down to Haechan only._ _

__"Mm, you're bigger than I expected," Haechan hums, his breath hot and damp on Mark's cock, making him shiver at the entirely new feeling, "I wonder if I can take all of you in my mouth."_ _

__"You really don't have to- Like you don't have to force yourself. I'm probably gonna come very fast either way."_ _

__"But that's no fun! I want to make you feel real good, hyung~"_ _

__Haechan has a certain way of saying _'hyung'_ when he wants something, making the word sound all round and sweet, dripping with honey as he drags it out. Mark can barely resist it in normal circumstances, much less when Haechan's kneeling between his legs and talking against his dick. _ _

__"You are, already, more than enough!"_ _

__If Haechan makes Mark feel any better than this he might just die, his heart might just not be able to take it._ _

__"But I said I would make you pass out, so I definitely haven't done enough."_ _

__"You did _not_ say that!" _ _

__"Well, it was something along those lines." Haechan says with a grin, not giving Mark time to answer before he's smoothing his hands down his thighs and kissing the fine skin on the inside of his thigh. It's a soft kiss, just enough that Mark feels it, and they only get more fluttery as he makes his way up. He stops when he reaches his cock, but he doesn't pay it any attention before he moves to the other thigh, a smile gracing his lips when Mark's grip on his hair involuntarily tightens._ _

__Haechan's doing it on purpose, these soft teasing touches, enough that Mark feels them, enough that they get him riled up, but not more than that, carefully keeping him on the fine edge of pleasure. He's good at it too, easily starting to alternate them with firmer touches when Mark gets too restless, a drag of teeth here or a gentle bite there._ _

__He doesn't touch Mark's dick just yet, but he does linger on the fine skin at its base, presses wetter kisses there, a huge, awfully smug grin spreading on his face when Mark makes a needy noise, a tiny _'please'_ escaping his mouth before he can stop himself. Haechan rewards him by sucking a mark on the inside of his thigh. It's not a proper bite, he doesn't even use his teeth, and it's more tingly than painful, but it blooms darkly against his skin either way, like it might hurt if he touches it. _ _

__"How do you even know how to leave these kinds of marks?" Mark asks breathlessly, his breath catching in his throat when Haechan presses his teeth against the bruise he just sucked into his skin. It doesn't hurt one bit, but it makes Mark's thighs tense, the foreign feeling unexpectedly pleasurable._ _

__"Mm, I had a good teacher."_ _

__"A good- Have you done this before?"_ _

__Haechan stops kissing his inner thighs and sighs very loudly and deeply, like Mark's said something particularly stupid, which, to be fair, maybe he has. He opens his mouth to correct himself, or maybe apologise, but Haechan's speaking before he has the chance to._ _

__"Yeah, I have five men lined up to teach me about the sweeter aspects of adulthood." Haechan deadpans, "One for each day. Saturday I meet all of them to solidify what I've learned and Sunday I rest so I can have a fresh start on Monday."_ _

__Mark is mostly aware that Haechan's utterly fucking with him and yet he can't help but ask, "It's- You're not being serious, right?"_ _

__"I am being _very_ serious. Sometimes I get lessons on Sunday, too, but only if they're really good. I even hold monthly meetings to talk about my progress in dipping my toes in the world of adults." _ _

__"Oh fuck off, I was being serious!"_ _

__Haechan's brows go up at that, his expression a mix between annoyance and shock, "You were being _serious_? I literally told you I basically had my first proper kiss with you and I'm supposed to take you seriously when you ask me if I've blown anyone before? Mark Lee, we've been living together for almost half our lives now, don't you think you would have found out if I was a porn star in my free time?" _ _

__Put like that, Mark very quickly realises how much like an asshole he's acting right now and the guilt settles almost as quickly as the realisation. It seems that he really is quite good at acting like an insensitive prick when it comes to Haechan, even if he doesn't mean to._ _

__"I'm sorry." Mark says slowly, sliding off the bed to his knees so he's properly facing Haechan instead of looking down at him. "I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to insult you or anything like that, but you're genuinely so good and you make me feel so good and you do it so easily, too, while I'm just tripping all over myself and making a fool of myself. So I guess I panicked a bit and took what you said seriously even though I knew you were joking."_ _

__Haechan's mouth twitches, "You are indeed making a fool of yourself."_ _

__"I'm s-" Mark begins to apologise, but Haechan easily shuts him up with a kiss, a gentle one, slow and sweet and soothing, making Mark relax entirely as he wraps his arms around his neck and deepens it._ _

__"It's okay, you don't have to apologise for that." Haechan says with a pretty smile, "And just so we're clear, the good teacher I was talking about was the internet."_ _

__"Oh." Mark says, and then, when it really registers, " _Oh_. Right, you did say you read about kissing online, too." _ _

__"Mhm, I've always been a curious kid."_ _

__Mark laughs, pressing one more kiss to Haechan mouth and then a few more to the moles he can reach, always so fond of them, of the way they fit Haechan, the way they make him even prettier, "Then will you do me the great honour of showing me what you've learned?"_ _

__"Even if I'm so good you won't be able to believe it's my first time?"_ _

__"Even if. And to be fair, you've always been a fast learner, faster than anyone else."_ _

__Haechan huffs, "Well, you should have realised that earlier!" he says, letting Mark go and pointing to the bed behind him, "Now sit back down so I can show you just how good I can be!"_ _

__"Hey, Donghyuck-ah,"_ _

__"Mm?"_ _

__"You should only do this if you want to, okay? Not because you want to prove something or anything like that." Mark says, obediently sitting back down on the bed and parting his legs so Haechan can make his way between them, his hands warm and steady as he presses them to his thighs._ _

__"Since we've already established that you're absolutely stupid-"_ _

__"Yah, I'm still your hyung-"_ _

__"Since we've already established that you're very stupid-" Haechan repeats, making sure he speaks louder than Mark, enough to drown out any protests, "-I guess I have to spell it out for you."_ _

__"Spell- What?"_ _

__"Mark Lee, as much as it pains me, I like you. I offered to kiss you because I wanted to see how kissing you would feel like and it felt great and now I want to do all of this because I want to make you feel good. I like you, okay? I like kissing you and I'm doing this because I really, really want to."_ _

__Mark just stares stupidly for a few very long seconds before his brain starts to make sense of the words thrown at him and then it takes an even longer while before he fully comprehends them too._ _

__"I like you too." Mark blurts, unsure of everything else, but fully certain of this one fact at least. "I like you very, very much."_ _

__"I know." Haechan says smugly. He seems to be enjoying this way too much for someone who seemed genuinely mad barely a few minutes ago, but Mark likes seeing him happy and satisfied way too much to even think about complaining._ _

__"You're really something else."_ _

__"I know that, too. But it's one of my multiple charms!"_ _

__Mark laughs, petting Haechan's hair, "It is indeed very charming."_ _

__He is fully aware that Haechan's going to be absolutely insufferable if he keeps praising him like this, but he can't help it– Haechan's smile has grown to hold way too much power over him. Mark might really be a lost cause at this point, but there was really never a chance of him winning when it comes to Haechan, much less when he's always been so talented at making people feel genuinely happy about running into a losing battle._ _

__"Good to know that we agree." Haechan says cheerily, rewarding Mark for the compliment with a wet kiss pressed to the tip of his dick._ _

__He's somehow still hard, even despite everything, and he might just die before Haechan decides to properly do something about it, the teasing touches doing nothing to soothe the overwhelming _need_ to be touched. The promise of it is worse, the anticipation– he knows what's supposed to happen, but Haechan's so good at dragging it out, at making Mark absolutely _crave_ it. _ _

__So it somehow manages to completely take him by surprise when Haechan fits his mouth around his cock, those red, pretty, _pretty_ lips of his wrapping around the head as he meets Mark's eyes, his gaze dark and heavy and smoldering. He looks like a sin, with his messy hair and flushed face and kiss swollen mouth, the kind that you would willingly walk into hell for. _ _

__It's almost too much, enough that Mark can't help but look away, scared that he might just come from the sight alone. But Haechan is relentless, fitting the flat of his tongue to the awfully sensitive skin just underneath the head and sucking until Mark moans, his hand tightening in his hair._ _

__"You wanna know what else the internet has taught me?" Haechan asks, kissing down the length of his cock before he licks a fat stripe all the way to the head, circling it with his thumb and then following the same course with his tongue._ _

__"I don't think I do." Mark says. He's already feeling too much all at once, his body burning and burning like his nerve endings have managed to catch on fire. He's been basking in the sun for too long now and he's starting to melt, everything boiling down to a simmer._ _

__"I'll still tell you." Haechan says, because of course he will._ _

__"Why do you even bother asking me?"_ _

__"Because it's more fun when you say no."_ _

__Mark starts laughing at that, but he manages to choke on his laughter when Haechan licks the precum that's gathered at the tip, dragging his tongue against the slit and smiling as Mark tries to catch his breath to no avail._ _

__"The anticipation seems to be quite important, just like it is for kissing," Haechan says, making sure his lips drag against Mark's dick with every word, breath damp and hot, "I'm supposed to make you really want it. So what do you think, hyung? Have I succeeded?"_ _

__Mark huffs, still not looking at Haechan, "You would have even without trying."_ _

__"Mm, maybe, but I only want to give you the best, hyung."_ _

__Haechan is making it a point to call Mark _hyung_ more than he ever has before, dragging the word out sweetly, his honey voice all high and gentle, travelling down Mark's spine like syrup until it settles in his tummy, warm and sticky and making him buzz with something that feels like want, a different kind of hunger. _ _

__"I really- You're literally-"_ _

__"Amazing, I know."_ _

__Mark laughs and he's so terribly fond of him, charmed like there's been magic cast on him. He knows he probably shouldn't, but there's something so awfully fascinating about the way Haechan carries himself, the way he takes both his flaws and his strengths at face value, proudly claiming them as his. Mark can't help but love this trait of his, can't help but look up to him a bit._ _

__"Ah, but hyung, you know what else this article I read said?" Haechan asks. He presses his thumb to the underside of Mark's dick, just under the head, to the vein there, rubbing at the fine skin while he sucks on the head, letting his teeth drag just a bit, just enough to make Mark shiver. "That eye contact is the most important, that I have to look like I'm enjoying this."_ _

__Mark makes a tiny, desperate sound, unable to even glance at Haechan. If he looks at him, he might just come right here and now, all articles about giving blowjobs be damned, Haechan only has to kneel between his legs and Mark's already gone._ _

__"Like you're- You really don't have to, like, _try_ to look like you're enjoying yourself or anything. Just doing what you want is more than enough. _You_ are more than enough." _ _

__Haechan giggles, a sweet, childish sound that might as well be totally inappropriate while he has his mouth on Mark's dick, "Hyung, did you know that you're awfully cute?"_ _

__"And you're a huge brat."_ _

__"Maybe. But you still love me."_ _

__Mark snorts, trying very hard not to smile, "Maybe."_ _

__"Oh and just so we're clear, I am enjoying myself." Haechan says, loosely wrapping his hand around Mark's dick and starting to very slowly move it up and down, the slide slick and easy, "That's why, hyung, won't you look at me?"_ _

__Mark swallows and his face feels very hot. He doesn't think he can handle looking at Haechan now, doesn't think he can look at him and not have the image etched behind his lids, not see it every time he closes his eyes._ _

__"I think I'll pass."_ _

__"It's illegal to be embarrassed while I'm literally holding your dick in my hand!"_ _

__"I'm not- You can't even use the word illegal like that!"_ _

__"Says who?"_ _

__"Any dictionary!" Mark says, turning to look at Haechan before he can think better of it. Haechan immediately smiles, very obviously satisfied at having gotten his way, meeting Mark's eyes before he has the chance to even consider looking away._ _

__"You're right," Haechan says with the ease of someone who's already won, "It's not illegal, I'm just not allowing you to be embarrassed. Now don't look away, hyung, I want you to watch me."_ _

__It seems like Mark really can't bring himself to say no to Haechan. But even if he didn't ask him, it would be horribly difficult to look away as Haechan presses Mark's dick to his cheek, his skin flushed warm and soft under the head, spreading precum on his face as he carefully rubs it against his cheek._ _

___This_ is something that should be illegal, from start to finish– from the way Haechan looks at Mark while he rubs his face all over his dick, to the way he smiles when he drags the tip against his swollen lips, his tongue peeking out to taste him, and to the pleased little whine he makes when he fits his cock inside his mouth, like it's his favourite treat, like he's been _craving_ it. _ _

__Mark wouldn't be able to look away even if he wanted to. He reaches over to stroke Haechan's neck, fitting his palm to his jaw and rubbing his thumb against his wet cheek, spreading the sticky precum there. It makes Haechan's eyes flutter closed and he pushes Mark's dick sideways inside his mouth, letting it press against his cheek, against Mark's thumb on the outside of it._ _

__It's outright dizzying, the way it makes Mark feel, the way it makes him _burn_ , and yet somehow he can't seem to have enough of it, the feeling dark and addictive, taking over him in waves. He doesn't know what the hell Haechan's been reading, but he shouldn't be allowed to use the internet anymore, not when he might just kill Mark with the things he learns. It doesn't help that Haechan's particularly good at figuring him out, so perceptive, making sure that he doesn't just make Mark feel good, but that he drives him absolutely crazy. _ _

__The sounds Mark makes only seem to encourage him as they get louder. He stops purely teasing him and starts taking more of his cock inside his mouth, moving his head up and down its length as he strokes what he can't fit into his mouth with his hands. Haechan's mouth is wet and hot and Mark can barely keep himself from thrusting up into its warmth, his thighs tense with the effort of keeping himself still, but he doesn't want to disrupt Haechan, doesn't want to do something he might not like._ _

__Especially since it feels so good, way too good and Mark doesn't think he's gonna last long either way, but he finds out very quickly that even that is not up to him. Haechan very skillfully pushes him to the very edge and then keeps him there, slowing down every time Mark comes too close, his hands tightening around the base of his dick as he presses fluttery kisses to the tip and it's awfully frustrating, enough that Mark can't keep himself from whining, much to Haechan's glee._ _

__"Are you even planning on letting me come today?" Mark asks breathlessly, a smile pulling at his lips before he can help it when Haechan laughs._ _

__"Mm, I haven't decided yet."_ _

__And Mark would protest more, but Haechan's wrapping his lips around his cock and starting to go down its length, fitting more and more into his mouth until it hits the back of his throat and he chokes, pulling back so he can properly cough. Mark's immediately apologising, reaching over to wipe at the tears that have gathered at the corners of Haechan's eyes._ _

__"You really don't have to force yourself," Mark says, leaning over to press a kiss to his forehead, "At this point I could probably come untouched."_ _

__Haechan snorts, "I know. I was planning on skillfully deepthroating you on my first try, but you ended up being bigger than I expected."_ _

__"It's- I don't need to be- What you've been doing is already skillful enough!" Mark says, tripping over his own words as he tries to make Haechan understand that this is already _a lot_ and that anymore than this might just kill him. Haechan only rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue like Mark's being purposely stupid. _ _

__" _Obviously_. But this is something I wanna do, so shut up and let me work my magic!" _ _

__Mark blinks. What more could he even say to that? If Haechan wants to do this so badly, who even is Mark to stop him? He obediently sits back as Haechan sucks another mark on the inside of his thigh, slowly building the tension back up with gradually firmer kisses, licking a stripe up the underside of his dick before he takes the head into his mouth._ _

__He's more careful this time around, slowly bobbing his head as he tries to fit more each time, a hand cupping his balls while he uses the other one to stroke what he can't reach just yet. It definitely makes for an unforgettable sight, Haechan's cherry red lips stretched obscenely around Mark's cock, stretching more the lower he goes, his eyes shining with unshed tears when he meets Mark's eyes._ _

__Mark reaches for him when he gags, unsure what he's even trying to do, but wanting to ease his discomfort in any way. He ends up only stroking his hair, gently wiping away the tears that do slip out. Haechan grins when he pulls Mark's cock out of his mouth with a pop, a string of saliva connecting the head to his swollen lips, and his expression can never mean anything but trouble._ _

__"Can I ask you to do something, hyung?"_ _

__Mark should probably say no, "Yeah."_ _

__"Could you push my head down?"_ _

__Mark should definitely say no, "What."_ _

__"I'll tap your thigh if I want you to stop, so, please?"_ _

__"Are you sure you really want to do this?"_ _

__Haechan smiles, leans over to press a gentle kiss to Mark's tummy, "Yup. And since I'm a quick learner, next time I'll make you come within three minutes."_ _

__Mark laughs, "I'm pretty sure you could make me come within a minute if you really wanted to."_ _

__"Glad you're aware."_ _

__But Haechan doesn't back off, he's seemingly very determined about learning how to take Mark's cock down his throat, so Mark has no choice but to help him see it through, as it would prove impossible to stop Haechan from doing something he's already set his mind to. Mark just hopes he doesn't come before Haechan gets the hang of it._ _

__He gently cards his hand through Haechan's hair when he takes his cock in his mouth, sucking at the sensitive spot under the head before he starts properly going down, fitting more and more with each bob of his head. It's slow and careful, as Haechan mostly just gets used to the feeling, humming around the tip when it hits the back of his throat and swallowing, trying to get just a bit more in._ _

__Mark doesn't really start pushing him further down until he's already a bit more than halfway down his length and Haechan glances down from time to time, but he holds his gaze for most of it, his eyes dark and shining with unshed tears. They only slip out when he gags, his throat tightening around Mark's cock._ _

__It makes him immediately loosen his hold, worried he's gone too far, but Haechan only pulls back until there's only the tip in his mouth before he goes back down, pushing at the hand Mark has in his hair in encouragement. It takes a bit of time, but Mark gradually gets used to it, to the rhythm Haechan's trying to set, forcing him just a bit lower every time he goes down, pushing just a bit after he starts gagging, slowly toeing the line of too much._ _

__"You're really something else," Mark says around a moan as Haechan swallows around his cock, his cheeks flushed red all the way to his ears, lips swollen and wet and obscene as they stretch around him, "Really pretty, too. I may just be the luckiest person in the world."_ _

__Haechan hums, pulling back to suckle at the head, "You definitely are." He says against his dick, kissing the tip before he takes it in again, properly used to the weight of it by now, sliding his tongue to the underside as he starts bobbing his head._ _

__Haechan gradually adjusts to having Mark's cock in his throat and it gets easier to go down further, faster too, enough that Mark has to stop him a few times, too close to keep going without coming then and there. So when he finally manages to take all of it, his lips pressing to the fine skin at the base of his dick, Haechan makes a tiny, satisfied noise, hollowing his cheeks as he comes back up._ _

__"You're right, I really _am_ amazing." Haechan says proudly when he pulls back, his voice raspy and low, just a bit scratchy, like he's been screaming, "Well, remind me not to do this before recording anything." _ _

__"Why? I think it would make for a really cool song."_ _

__"Hmm, yeah, maybe I should just sneak off to suck your dick before our next recording, huh?"_ _

__Mark flushes, glances at Haechan's swollen red lips before he licks his own, just a bit amazed with the fact that he's somehow managed to not come even once by now._ _

__"I don't think we'd be very good at sneaking around."_ _

__"Yeah, you're right, you're way too loud."_ _

__"Oh, shut up, like _you_ are any better!" Mark complains, ruffling Haechan's hair. He can't stop himself from smiling back when Haechan grins at him, awfully giddy for some reason. _ _

__"Wanna make a bet?" Haechan asks mischievously._ _

__"If it's about how long I can last, then no. I doubt I can even make it ten seconds now."_ _

__"Aw, that's no fun, Mark Lee, c'mon!" Haechan whines, wrapping a hand around his cock and just squeezing a bit, not moving just yet._ _

__"Fine, if you win you get a kiss from me."_ _

__"Noo, that's boring! You'll kiss me anyway! If I win, you'll do whatever I want for a week!"_ _

__Mark laughs, leaning in to kiss Haechan who melts under his mouth even despite his protests, "Okay." he says, since he can't say no to Haechan anyway._ _

__"Perfect." Haechan says with a grin, immediately leaning over to take Mark's cock into his mouth, completely familiar with the weight of it now, humming around its girth as he starts bobbing his head._ _

__He really is an awfully fast learner and there's absolutely no way Mark has any chance of lasting as Haechan takes him down all the way, gagging a bit on the way down, but swallowing around him anyway. He hollows his cheeks on the way up, paying a bit more attention to the head before he goes back down, easily setting a quick rhythm that leaves Mark reeling._ _

__As expected, it takes him an embarrassingly short time to come, his orgasm taking him by surprise as his whole body goes tight and he barely manages to warn Haechan before he's spilling into his mouth, the tension leaving him in one fell swoop. Haechan keeps sucking on the head of his cock as he comes, easing him through his orgasm until Mark's whining from oversensitivity and he finally pulls back._ _

__"I'm sorry for coming into your mouth." Mark says once he gets his breathing in speaking order, "I probably should have warned you earlier."_ _

__Haechan only smiles at him, pushing him back in the bed and easily crawling over him. Mark doesn't understand why his smile looks so suspicious until he's leaning down and kissing him, pushing down something sticky and warm into his mouth when he parts his lips for him. It takes a moment before he realises what the salty taste is and a bit more before he connects the dots and fully grasps the fact that Haechan's pushing his own come into his mouth._ _

__He even waits until Mark properly swallows it down, sucking on his tongue sweetly before he pulls back with a smug grin._ _

__"Well, now we're even!" Haechan says cheerily, pressing one more quick kiss to Mark's mouth when he sighs._ _

__"You really are a brat."_ _

__"Yeah, but I'm a lovely one."_ _

__"An insufferable one more like."_ _

__Haechan laughs, laying next to Mark and curling against his chest, awfully cute when he wants to be, "But you still love me."_ _

__"Yeah," Mark says, because at this point, there's really no denying it, "I really do."_ _

__"I love you too, hyung." Haechan says sweetly, leaning over to kiss his chest before he snaps his fingers, pointing at him as if he just got an idea, "Oh, and next time I'll teach you about how to give a blowjob!"_ _

__"Yeah, next time." Mark promises. He really has always been horrible at saying no to Haechan._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Today's my little man's birthday, Mork Lee, so happy birthday dude ily! Thank you for reading this self indulgent mess! If you wanna talk you can find me on twitter @miinimark.


End file.
